OPTIMUM TIME PROFILE

Time perspective [how we divide our experiences into time zones unconsciously] biases decision based on-

1. present momentary stimulation(hedonistic/fatalistic -gives enegy to explore),
2. past memories(-/+ gives identity roots of person),
3. future consequences(setting goals/transcend -reach new destinations, new challenges, cash on opportunities).

excess of each either ways becomes negative.

use:applied to drop-outs,addictions,resilience,suicide bombers,family conflicts, recalling the what one is good at or the good things done each day helps improve one’s self-esteem,assertiveness, creativity, empathy & engagement with others.

optimal time profile is high on past positive, moderate high on future, moderate on present hedonism, low on past negative and present fatalism. ratio to aim is 4:3:2:1

Filed under: UNIVERSAL , IDEA, ATTITUDE, PERSPECTIVE, GROWTH, AMBITIOUS, PRODUCTIVE

don’t play to your temptations or let others cash on your weaknesses

admitting truth instills confidence to have productive conflict which clears decisions for accountable performance.

• don’t lock up conscience: gain credibility by welcoming dissent & admitting when you are wrong. that which the truth demolishes should be.
• don’t bottle up tensions: encourage airing perspective differences helps debugging towards better decisions but guard against attacks on self-esteem. let collaboration thrive in the chaos.
• don’t shirk from duty: clear direction is the antidote to anxiety so settle the uncertainty rather than staying paralysed analyzing more info/debating accurate timing to act. demarcate responsibilities.
• don’t hold back  first things: work for long-term respect by giving negative feedback & making commitments accountable. don’t be a affectionate anchor feeding others ego & to fit in the group think.
• don’t smudge the report card: measure success by performance not by advancing status or protecting ego.if you want to cut, you should’nt parry.

Filed under: UNIVERSAL , ATTITUDE, RELATE, TEMPTATIONS, WEAKNESSES

HOW TO HAVE THE RICH HEART TO INSTILL CONFIDENCE

Self-assurance not self-awareness drives performance.

Realistic assessment of difficulty & unrealistic optimism in ability will overcome challenges.

How to build strength in a shipwrecked person to bounce back or a vulnerable child with low self-esteem to race through the beautiful life?….. this is not a moment’s fix, it’s a continuous appraisal over a period, possible only in a stable long-term relationship:

SHOW CONFIDENCE IN THEM & ALSO IN YOURSELF:

Believe in the person. Entrust your confidence in them. Stay assured they will do it!

Things you say about yourself can damage your child’s self-esteem. Children learn a great deal from copying adults close to them. If you overreact to situations or pressure, your child may worry you really can’t handle life’s challenges. This won’t set your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.

SHOW EMPATHY:

Listen to them carefully, repeat what you’ve heard to make sure you understood correctly and give positive prompts to encourage them to continue speaking. Acknowledge their feelings  and help express them verbally. Accept any fears or insecurities they express as genuine, even if they seem trivial to you, don’t just brush them aside.

Reassure that it’s OK to make mistakes and that it’s all part of  life/growing up.  Laugh with them – never at them.

SHOW RESPECT :

Respect their interests even if  they seem boring to you. Take a genuine interest in their friends, and what’s happening at school/work place/home, and comment to show you’re listening.

SHOW PRIDE:

Focus on whatever they can succeed at. Encourage them to take chances and try new things.

Praise , looking them in the eye & using their name,  saying specifically what you liked. Avoid praising with a sting in the tail.

Give frequent , genuine positive feedback on the efforts they put into tasks as well as the outcomes they achieved. Celebrate - for they measure their worth and achievements by what we think of them.

SHOW SUPPORT:

Reprimanding comments  make them feel even worse than they do already for failing at something. Instead, try to give support by saying something like: “Oh no, you tried, but it didn’t work. Never mind. Next time you could succeed.”  It’s not only the critical things said directly that can undermine confidence, even if they overhear you tell someone things like  “she’s so clumsy” they might think you really believe this and feel it can’t be changed.

Criticise behaviour, not the person. Be clear that it’s an action you’re angry about & not them.

Too many negative remarks  can result in them believing they’re useless or stupid.

All the following can damage one’s confidence:

• Saying you don’t like them
• Saying you wish they’d never been there
• Insults or unkind remarks
• Deliberately ridiculing things they do or feel
• Cruel teasing and sarcasm
• Endless nagging
• Aggressive shouting and swearing

Filed under: UNIVERSAL , ATTITUDE, EMPOWER, ENCOURAGE, RELATE, SENSITIVE

RIGHT ATTITUDE & PERFORMANCE.

Sticking to something optimistically,with the intention of :

1. coming out stronger [gives relief]
2. desperate hope [leads to stress]
3. working on an extraordinary strategy [gives creative high]

doesn’t guarantee success.

But by being aware of why you can fail & picking a solution,
even if it is not perfect but ensures reaching your goal,
& working on it with the intent to win raises the probability of success.

Positive attitude is one where you have a stock of new perspectives to cheer yourself to motivate your discipline to always stay part of the solution.

How to align this attitude to win at our goals?

Target one reasonably achievable  goal but put in unreasonable effort to do the impossible by nearing deadline/raising standards to concentrate your focus.

This hastiness helps because when you get hit with a turbulence
you don’t give up,  for you have a chance because of the left over surplus time or you’ve already reached the basic standard, to meet the goal.

If you don’t have this chance you will give up easily in that frail moment of failure or frustration.

Filed under: INITIATIVES, UNIVERSAL , ATTITUDE

CAN I MAKE FAIL-SAFE TO-DO LIST & INCREASE PERFORMANCE

I make every to-dos with honest hope of sticking to it whatever may come. In spite of it I falter regularly. I can’t pull my concentration together for studies on all times,even in desperate times. Why?

My personal awareness’s were as follows:

1. PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES -worries,plain hesitancy, dampened persistence,  bullied/negative criticisms, overwhelmed feeling.
2. PHYSICAL CHANGES -anxious nerves, tensed muscles.
3. METABOLIC CHANGES -abnormal glucose from inadequate food or junk food, constipation[apologies.. but yeah], excess sleep from sweets & sweet drinks.
4. HORMONAL CHANGES -[female thing .... well apologies again...3 days before till completion]
5. ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGES -uncomfortable seating,accessibility,clothes,  extremes of weather-heat,sultry,cold,  unsuitable atmosphere-noisy,dreary colors or texture,too much of light,clutter.

HOW TO FIX THEM:

For psychological issues -

• Keep your goals above what bugs you & time will tell “YOU COPED WELL”.
• Protect your self-esteem by never revealing your identity goals prematurely – esp those with a short deadline or when investing huge commitments.
• make a slow easier transition before shivering escape routes to decrease initiation hesitancy & increase persistence in the long run.
• search for new motivations – keep your self talk positive to encourage yourself to be part of the solution, dispute warp thoughts, decide the next action.
• vent out the turbulent thoughts by journalling & try shelving it forever with a permanent fix, forget myself by reading something random, pepping amusing memories or music.
• warm up concentration first on easy interesting subject/by photo reading the topic before the actual study, never read passively but annotate, simplify, paraphrase, illustrate, connect points without leaving anything floating, concise into keyword box.

For physical issues -

• practice heart coherence or breathing to calm down,
• revise your concise notes many times till you’re able to contrast concepts & get into flow.

For metabolic changes -

• keep a daily desk stock of fruit/nuts/curd/boiled sweet potato…,
• active playful ways of doing everything helps.

For hormonal changes -

• get done some long pending work [blogging, haircut, cleaning, rearrange] to get off the fateful stuck feeling,
• strenghten the goals [making a collage or browsing on your doubts] to not get lost.

Environmental hiccups –

• logical selection of clothes.
• declutter to create a comfortable dwelling.
• study at a new place away from usual boring routine.

Filed under: DISCLOSURE , ATTITUDE, CONCENTRATION, IDEA, PROCRASTINATION

FAMILY MATTERS : STRESSBUSTING.

When you are feeling as if you’re at the end of the tether:

1. Give yourself extra time to avoid  hastened feeling.
2. Save your energy for issues which really matter to your family and let the little things go by.
3. Keep your self talk  positive by thinking through positive perspectives to  encourage yourself to boost your confidence,cheerfulness,discipline & willingness to perform tasks & always be part of the solution.
4. Include relaxing activities in your daily routine to allow your mind to take a break as well as your body [Listen to calm music, a relaxation CD, TED speech]
5. Try a simple quick technique to stop losing cool-

• Take a slow deep breath in and out again, then carry on breathing gently and calmly . Let your shoulders drop down and your hands go floppy at your sides . Smooth out your forehead and let your jaw drop slightly. Notice your mind relaxing as your body softens.
• Phone a friend or family member.
• Get some fresh air for a moment- escape to the porch or balcony.
• Count to ten then ask yourself: “Do I feel calm?” If the answer is no, carry on counting until you can say yes.
• Laugh out loud, laughter releases tension.
• Put on your favourite music.
• Throw your energy into a big cleaning session/ organize your to-dos to keep focus on your goals.
• Have a drink of water or make yourself a cup of tea.
• Think about a loving moment ,a caring remark, lovely photo.
• Say to yourself: “Keep calm, think positive“.

Filed under: UNIVERSAL , ATTITUDE, RELATE, STRESS