where is my attitude that was my high during childhood

i used to as a class leader in my middle school serve teachers unselfishly -minding the class, carrying and distributing books, drawing charts, voluntaring in sports and cultural activities. later on in my high school because of my increasing turbulences in my mind, decreasing competency, restrictions from my dearest friend on labouring ignorantly who himself was the boy’s leader, my father’s reluctancy to buy charts and colors …..created doubts about what is right to do. during my 10th standard, i brought a book ‘the secret of right activity’ from ramakrishna math. i did not develop distinct insights then, but now in this situation of engulfing narrow-mindedness, its revision has given me this : [that concept of oneness of spirit does resemble the knowledge that human mind universally has specific common prejudices & thinks in a certain pattern when in certain situations like a depressed person perceives age of a person differently or judges a half-filled glass as half-empty & that hallucinogens alter our form color perception]

If you unschemingly work with fortitude for unfolding the Atman, you evolve a concentration for right action :

  • skill
  • adapt quickly
  • expending least energy
  • if our present impressions have proved hostile to our progress, create a totally new set of impressions by going to work. hold ourselves as the witness, watch all impressions pass without being disturbed by them. we do this & no more. we do not strike back. withdraw ourselves from whatever retards our unfoldment. put on an armour of fortitude & calmness. as we wisely meet our present obligations, our nature will become so expanded that every task will seem to us a privilege not a compulsion & we accomplish it spontaneously just for the joy we find in doing it. that silent enduring service will evolve a powerful concentration which improves our skill, makes us adjust ourselves quickly & we perform with least expenditure of energy which are all secrets of right activity. follow the path of action as long as we have to struggle to subdue ourselves; when everything within has become tranquil, then we can meditate – seeing clearly before putting into practise.
  • sudden uprooting suffers the mind; first acquire a correct knowledge of the relative value of things, then the mind itself will let go without any pang. cultivating a strong new spiritual impression by turning our thoughts within which in time will become so dominant a habit that it’ll efface the old ones.
  • renunciation means giving up limitation, merely living, acting & giving in a greater circle. conquering lower self gives self-control & serenity, we do not play the losing game of dualities anymore -selfishly expecting gain/loss & suffering the painful reactions of anger/hatred/attachment. judging evrything through the light of higher nature [oneness of divine spirit], we cannot do anything wrong, we do not labor for what is false & unreal. we work like a master. all the unrest of heart ceases & no room is left for trivial concerns. think the lofty ideal again & again until finally we begin to feel its reality & move without calculating because our individual will works in harmony with universal will; we won’t be distracted by the voices of the world anymore; pettiness, ignorance, self-seeking will vanish; we shall feel ourselves great only in the spirit; when in need of help, it’ll feel our groping mind with the light of understanding & strenght; we can attain truth & our growth becomes far reaching.
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    i have to discard this evil budding in me

    when i was in school i left out one chapter on revenge in my moral science textbook thinking its irrelevant to me, but now embarassingly its time has come. but its only helping me in not retaliating destructively. to get rid of my surging intolerance towards other religions, i have been reading vivekananda’s conepts of regeneration:
    the goal of all religions is to manifest man’s true nature which is divinity. differences are apparent, arising from the same truth adapting to different natures. disharmony, be it on the individual life or collective life, be it in the national level or international level, stems from this single malady of losing sight of the underlying oneness of divine nature in all and giving undue importance to the variances on the surface. if there is ever to be a universal religion, it must be one which will have no location in place or time, shining on all saints and sinners alike, conquering all natures and still have infinite space for development, will have no place for persecution or intolerance, whose scope and whole force will be created in aiding humanity to realise its own true divine nature – that he is one and magnanimous. then the only thing that pays is not money, name, fame, nor learning, but love – that character cleaves difficulties and 3 things necessary for that:

  • fiery faith and fiery sympathy towards ignorant and negative emotions – conviction of the powers of goodness, abscence of jealousy and suspicion
  • unselfishly help unto death – strengthening all who are trying to be and do good by giving them practical ideas, opening them to the world around them
  • struggle patiently to build luxury and create work for the poor – do not be afraid of small beginnings, let not the barks of puppies frighten you nor thunderbolts, great things come afterwards
  • in short – reciprocity, mix with all, broadcast your treasures and be ready to receive what others have to give. expansion is life, contraction is death.

    the latter 2 are already my life purposes, one is my built in nature to do good and share info to those earnestly trying to stay right, the other i incorporated from the blogs i read which encourage entrepreneurship;
    but as i grew up esp in my 10+2 i completely lost the first attitude about having faith – now i hardly trust ignorants, am always suspicious that they only support only when they have a pro-bias and not out of genuine righteousness. but i was and am always sympathetic and never jealous of anyone. so the only thing i have to do now is to keep self-control to innocently hold on to the conviction in the goodness in all and not to condemn one’s [including myself] weakness but remind one of their strength, if at all i know how #$^%^$?

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    law & order

    i was made to feel?

    law & order came into existence out of democratic idea that there are two ways of living and both are correct as long as one lives for oneself without trying to tresspass others life or dent others selfesteem:

    • live a bluff life by indulging in god/devil/culture/fame/bribe/drugs/force/competition from blindly believing propaganda sacrificing the consceince. then the only evil is not being a part of the majority
    • build a productive life by educating in the truth of cause-effect from critical thinking of rationality vs sensibility. then the only evil is ignorance.

    my contrariness lies towards the 1st choice. suicide is illegal, if you can’t live pursuiing truth then dump that pursuit but live even if it is a bluff life. i did not feed myself on lies nor do i want to become a scoundrel, so why just the idea of 2 ways of living -because for its co-existence tolerance is the limiting factor why not divide earth for each way.
    what is the basis for making something legal or not -is not the truth that helps this world to evolve into a happy structure which engages the human mind productively.

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    WHY DO I WANT TO REMEMBER TO ALWAYS STRIVE FOR FUNCTIONAL COMMUNICATION

    everybody desires approval & appreciation.
    the man who lives by himself & for himself is apt to be corrupted by the company he keeps.  go out of your way to help someone as you want a freind to help you.  those who bring sunshine to others, cannot keep it from themselves.
    you wont pass this way again, so be kind to blunt the sting of unkindness in others.
    be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. you can’t blame others when you cant give them practical ideas to change.
    my face – i don’t mind it, because i’m behind it.
    it is easier to criticise than to be right or to help.
    a truth that is told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent.
    if you feel you must give advice tell people to do what they want to do.
    if you realize that other people have the desire to win as strongly as you have, you’ll never be a bad loser.
    if you have to ask for information, they’ll love you if you ask for some that you know they can give.
    approach others with the attitude “oh, there you are”.
    nobody particularly likes a bad loser or a constant complainer.
    good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves.
    getting along with people is consideration of their views & tolerance in one’s own views. say “our opinions fall in the same continuum but only differ in their perspective”
    principle centered people always clarify expectations of others, refuse to prejudge, focus on others interests & concerns instead of arguing over positions.

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    my friend sudha

    i feel like collaborating with sudha on certain hobbies which i think will interest her & also further our relation -
    kill day at a sweet spot – to speedread non-fiction bestsellers
    share rituals, photon-laptop, scan rss

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    self-control is the solution

    decision – make self-control & optimism as a way of better life . i feel one most practibale way to achieve this is by not making a mistake of forgetting my mistakes.

    if anybody injures your feelings , you start nursing a grudge. so feelings such as anger, jealousy, lust, greed fan the flames of revenge. not only does he leave virtous qualities of love & kindness, he becomes outright cruel.

    we should not sin against him who has sinned. we should GO ON FOLLOWING THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. one who has sinned against somebody himself gets destroyed. if WE ARE RIGHT, WE CAN AFFORD NOT TO BE ANGRY & if we are wrong, we cannot afford to be angry.

    revenge is nothing but delayed anger. revenge is another form of pride & vanity. the feeling of revenge takes us down to the level of a wrong doer. it reflects a petty mind. we can never win over others by revenge. we can do so only by love, sacrifice & forgiveness.it is humility which induces us to forgive & show kindness to others.

    ANYBODY LACKING IN SELF-CONTROL CANNOT HOPE TO BUILD A STRONG CHARACTER WHICH ENABLES US TO WITHSTAND THE ROUGH & TUMBLE OF LIFE. a man can get equipoise only when he has attained control over his senses. tolerance comes by self-control. dainty dishes, gossiping, backbiting, bickering, day-dreaming often put one’s self-control to test. it is in everyday’s life that the lesson of self-control is learnt. for a man with self-control it is ashram wherever he stays.

    an optimist challenges while a pessimist always complains about difficulties. will power has to do a lot with determining our attitude to life. OUR ATTITUDE TO LIFE FURTHER DEPENDS ON OUR ASPIRATIONS & GOALS IN LIFE.

    the aspirations i want in my life – dignified relations, faith in myself, defend truth, thorough habits, innovating reality – & i believe i’ll get all this by becomimg independent which will enable me to work dedicatedly alleviating my grief & fear, and will drive away dependency which is making me an irresolute. a self-dependent person’s life is always well-organised.

    i’ve to exercise self-control & never repeat known[universally rampant] mistakes:

    • ignoring dignified relations for support or by deviating towards emotions
      • CYNICISM- rebuke/irritable/compromise
      • LUST- charm/look/men,
      • PETTINESS- anger/crying aloud/giggling/low rung people,
      • SPIRALLING ASSUMPTIONS WITHOUT CONSCIENCE- grandeur/fear/default thinking/one off events
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    KHUSHI

    everytime she arrives with great good expectations, but i’m unprepared to entertain her because i’m in a penchant mood & not creative enough to explain things to her understanding. i’m sensible enough to how she is feeling but i’m feeling helpless in receiving them.

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    vocabulary building – junior word list 29 [u,v] :

    it was TRITE to expect the president of usa to look URBANE in a TUMID lifestyle & an UNEARTHLY office.
    contrastingly, Lincoln looked like an UNCOUTH TYRO with an UNCANNY sadness in an UNWONTED office. but he was not with a VAPID aim. his opinion on civil war suppression was an UNEQUIVOCAL ‘no’.
    in those days it was UNCONSCIONABLE to ask for equal rights for blacks. King’s UNBRIDLED rage to blacks’ TRIBULATIONS resembled a TURGID river threatening to overflow. he urged all blacks to wage a civil war without TREPIDATION.
    un-UPBRAIDED orthodox whites turned a TRUCULENT race & the passive whites’ moral TURPITUDE was evident in their UNCTUOUS protestations for peace.
    after civil rights movt’s success, VARIEGATED races all over the world were TREMULOUS from excitement & hope.

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    my first bookoutlines

    ‘sailing off in a parachute’ concept of comcentration training [when hit by annoyances, insults, fear, worry, helpless, worthless feelings]
    from now whenever i disturb my concentration, i’ll first step onto the cane hub of a large parachute liting a vaishnav/limerence/saudade fire to go afloat all alone. secondly i’ll put the turbulence into a patience quarantine plate & write on insight papers with conscience pen for weighing on the other plate of the rational balance, till the truth compass points the right direction, then isolate it in the leak proof 6hr-3days incubator & simultaneously shoot off some more loads to dilute the strong emotions & to glide high into cooler clouds, diverting away from aggression/intolerance/moaning/bickering but preserving my past positive & future orientation to get involved in productive activities like speedreading, paraphrasing, HL revision, vocabulary building….

    now in order to preserve this moment i’m going to type out points i learnt from a book “In search of excellence – lessons from America’s best-run companies by Thomas.J.Peters & Robert.H.Waterman”

    • Introduction: [About the winning team]

    soceity is a vehicle for earthly heroism. man transcends death by finding meaning for his life. it is the burning desire for the creature to count. what man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance.
    ritual is the technique for giving life. his sense of self-worth is constituted symbolically, his cherished narcism feeds on symbols, on an abstract idea of his own worth. man’s natural yearning can be fed limitlessly in the domain of symbols.
    men fashion unfreedom [a large measure of confirmity] as a bribe for self-perpetuation. in other words, men willingly shackle themselves to the 9 to 5 if only the cause is perceived to be in some sense great. the company can actually provide the same resonance as does the exclusive club or honorary soceity.
    extraordinary energy is exerted above & beyond the call of duty when the worker is given a modicum of apparent control over his or her destiny.

     

      Towards a new theory :

    • centralized highly valued purpose – a broad uplifting culture to increase productivity through loyalty [love of product], commitment [provide top quality service], people orientation [honor innovation & contribution from all ; those at the fronteir know the business best, ∴ listen intently & regularly]
    • decentralize decision by allowing implementation of their autonomously choosen rational paths. Encourage risk taking & support good tries. Make sure to generate reasonable number of mistakes.
    • Internal competition thr multiple teams, product line duplication, division overlap, vast info for comparison
    • Infromal control thr regular casual communication is tighter than rule by numbers.
    • Fluidity – reorganize all the time for effectiveness. Innovate the whole culture by continually responding to change of any sort.
    • more money/time &rarr few but complex products which are not used most of the times &rarr need for delicate elaborate communication &rarr can’t survive war conditions.
    • persist even in chaos by introducing many new prototypes to get done a quick dirty test. caution & paralysis induced by analysis lead to an anti-experimentation bias, that, in-turn leas to an ultimately risky “big bet” or the “superweapon” mentality.
    • insights based on experience helps find the solution for allocating resources preserving the living element rather than a rational quantity analysis which takes into account a narrow reality which has the least imp truth or even many lies.
    • rational means a conclusion flowing from a correst solution. it is right but narrow since it misses the messy human stuff [old habits, inconsistencies, implementation barriers]. ∴ take note of individual human being’s limits & strengths.
    • planning should’nt go beyond the use of enhancing mental preparedness. it should’nt become the truth & ignore data that doesn’t fit the preconceived plan. Focus on getting out a salable product.
    • improvise not forecast
      dwell on oppurtunities not constraints
      discover new action not dwellon past
      value arguments not serenity
      encourage doubt not belief
    • Excellent companies:
      1. their systems reinforce degress of winning rather than degrees of losing. their people by & large reach their targets & quotas, because they are set (often by the people themselves) to allow that to happen.
      2. mere association with past personal success apparently makes us do better. in a study of school teachers, when they held high expectations of the students, that alone was enough to cause an increase of 25 points in the student’s IQ scores.
      3. they provide an oppurtunity to be the best : to seek transcendence
      4. they offer support – more celebration, use small intimate teams : to avoid isolation
      5. they provide within protected settings the oppurtunities to stand out : to fear helplessness
      6. logic is not the true engine of scientific progress, but aesthetic beauty of concept is so improtant
      7. focus on only a few key business values & a few objectives, this lets everyone know what’s important, so there is simply less need for daily instructions i.e short term meory overload
      8. mark of the true professional in any field is the rich vocabulary of patterns, developed through years of formal education & esp thr years of practical experience : value of experimenting & listening to customers,workers more frequently
      9. positive reinforcement shapes, teaches & enhances self-image. he/she learns that a specific positive behaviour pattern leads to rewards & has at the same time satisfied the insatiable human need to enhance one’s self-image.
      10. perfect failure concept : all research & dev is inherently risky, so the only way to succeed is thr lots of tries & a good try that results in some learning is to be celebrated even when it fails.
      11. if by force of time alone (a nonaversive force), we choose to push a low priority item off, then it is highly umlikely that we will cheat on ourselves & try to do more of the less attractive behavior.
      12. way the reinforcement is carried out is more imp than the amount: specific small wins, immediate-unpredictable-intermittent-intangible but ever-so-meaningful attention/rewards, frequent small rewards are more effective than big bonuses since the later often become political & discourage who don’t get them but think they deserve them.
      13. people eveluate themselves not by absolute standards but by social comparison : so induce internal competition, peer reviews, vast info about comparitive performance
      14. Intrinsic motivation thr autonomy: give lots of space to employess to take initiatives in support of the company’s few key values – finding their own paths & so making the task & its outcome their own.
      15. do their way into strategies, not vice-versa : “you more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action” if you get people acting, even in small ways the way you want them to, will they come to believe in what they are doing. Doing things (lots of experiments, tries) leads to rapid, effective learning & commitment. Enlistment is enhanced by publicly & ceaselessly lauding the small wins along the way.
      16. “he who has the why to live for can bear almost, any how” : if companies donot have strong culture / shared values, as reflected in their values, stories, myths & legends, people’s only security comes from where they live on the organizational chart. stories. the stronger the culture & the more it is direcdted towards the marketplace, the less need for policy manuals, organization charts, or detailed procedures & guidance by the rule book. people way down in the line know what they are supposed to do in most situations because the handful of guiding values is crystal clear. poorer performing companies often have strong cultures but dysfunctional ones : focused on internal politics rather than on customer, numbers rather than on the product, top few people in the bonus pool
      17. our culture has failed almosy in inculcating internal controls on actions that have their origin in authority. those who have spent most of their lives in a strong culture, do less well on the outside if they leave, because they are totally unaware of the enormous support system they had going for them in the excellent company & are at the least initially lost & bewildered without it. but being outwardly focused, excellent companies by thier cultures make unique contributors to soiceity.
      18. dividing things up & pushing authority far down the line, these companies provide the oppurtunity to stick-out & that discretion leads to much greater commitment, yet combine it with the system of beliefs that provide transcending meaning. thus understanding the paradoxical human needs : need to succeed & stick out, so we overestimate the possibility of doing the easy task & the need to preserve face & ensure security, so we underestimate the possibility of getting the difficult task done.
      19. leader has a role of an orchestrator & labeler – taking what can be gotten in the way of action & shaping it into lasting commitment to a new strategic direction, soaring meaning rather than control or constraints. tranforming leader is both calling forth (excitement – educational process) & exemplifying (believability – core of the business) the urge for moral not political vision (social architect) that unites all. inseparable from followers’ needs & goals. dynamic since followers feel elevated, therby creating new cadres of leaders confident enough to accomplish whatever goals they share. Such institutions create environments in which people can blossom, develop self-esteem, & otherwise be excited participants in the business & soceity as a whole.

    A BIAS FOR ACTION

    • informal open communications – patterns & intensity cultivate the right people’s getting into contact with each other. choas of the system are kept under control simply by regularity of contact & its peer vs peer in quasi competitive situations
    • simplifying systems – basis fro desicion making – brief presentation that winnows fact from opinion. sloppiness is inconsistent with 1page memo. more than 2 objectives is no objectives – you can expect someone to get one thing done. shorter planning system to manage what to sell next month. unreliability due to endless battles between numerous staffs & the attendent politicalization of the problem solving process.
    • chunking – breaking things up to facilitate organizational fluidity & to encourage action by putting right resouces against problems. ad hoc task force work when -
      1. few members – participation is limited to the principal actors
      2. seniority of the members is proportional to the importance of the problem. we want busy people whose main objective is to get off the damned task force & get back to work.
      3. duration of the task force is very limited
      4. membership is voluntary who hope to get real value form it
      5. pulled together rapidly when needed & not accompanied by a formal chartering process. little fanfare
      6. follow-up is shift. “no results, we are still working on the report” is not a satisfactory answer.
      7. no staff are assigned permanently
      8. documentation is informal & scant.not in the business of producing paper, but in producing solutions
    • japanese pull key peole from various companies into project centers to do the basics in dev research. when the key technological problems have been solved, the key people go back to their own companies & compete like crazy with one another. products are then ready for the world – after they have been honed by tough competition within japan.
    • attitude, climate, culture must treat ad hoc behavior as more normal than bereaucratic behavior. underlying the unstructured chaos & absence of formality lie shared purposes, as well as an internal tension & competitiveness that make these cultures as tough as nails.
    • experimenting: good ideas don’t count. don’t trust it until you can see it & feel it
      1. a tiny completed action, helps to learn something. make a little, sell a little, make a little more. you can always find somerthing in which, in a few hours of efforts, you will have made some little steps.
      2. result of eliminating purposeful reduntant dev or regularly testing each component separately in response to current cost pressures – abscence of realistic plans, inadequate understanding of the stauts of the program, accumulation o fschedule & cost deficits without visibility. leading to deferrals of difficult work, embarrasing accidents, expensive redisigns, erratic staffing, illusion that everything is working well. never stop testing, your experiment will never stop improving. ready, fire, aim. learn from your tries.
      3. you learn more by being a believer of low cunning & expediency – high trust level that people feel free to tinker with the things their colleagues are inventing. the idea is that you look around you to people working at the next bench & think of things that you might invent to make it easier for them to do their jobs.
      4. if more industry would try out new ideas on a low cost basis, perhaps their expectations of wht the market will bear would go up. cost-effectiveness of trying something as an alt to analyzing everything. ability to think more creatively & comcretely with a prototype in hand. having a machine to play with, makes a convert.
      5. “manual we used was clear, yet we did a host of things wrong, we learned a score or more little tricks -all in just a few hrs” only feel can confront such complex phenomenon quickly. richness of experience [the number of variables surfaced and manipulated] that occurs solely when one is exposed tangibly to a subject i sunmatchable in the abstract via paper analysis or description.
      6. the engineer & technicians must be put in the same room to have immediate informal access to whatever facilities he needs to put his ideas into practice. it costs more to make drawings than to make the piece. drawing is only one-way communication that by the time the piece is made, engineer would have forgotten why he wanted it & will find out that it doesnt work because he made a mistake in the drawings or that it needs a small change which too often takes another some months to make the piece right.
      7. all you are really buying with the money invested in the experiment is more info. you never know for sure until after the fact whether it has all been worthwhile or not and moreover as the project gets rolling each major step becomes much more expensive than the last one – so harder to stop because of sunk costs & ego commitments. the best experimenting management systems treat these activities like poker. they break them up into manageable chunks, rewiew quickly, don’t over-manage in the interim. and make the crucial mentally tough decision of whether to fold & immediately start another whenever the current stops looking promising.
      8. cheap experimentation usually proves less costly & more useful than sophisticated market research or careful staff planning.if we can get the concept of experiment built into our thinking & therby get evidence on a lot of can’ts, won’ts, shouldn’ts…. more good ideas will get translated into action. before we let any thought rational appraisal of the idea convince us that it will not work, we ask ourselves another question – is there any way that we can experiment with this idea at low cost?
      9. bootlegging – company’s innovative health can best be measured by the amount of surreptitious squirreling away going on -a little bit of money, little bit of manpower, & working outside the mainstream of organization. planning, budgeting even control systems should be specifically designed to be a little leaky – so mavericks can scrouge money & play at he margin with budgets.
      10. natural diffusion that builds on itself through accumulating small wins & at the end even the recalcitrant comes on board – start with simply the one that was ripe for a change, not the biggest or worst or best. & the one who was most excited about doing it. then bringing others to see what was done so they could learn from it, a substitue for writing memos or giving instructions.
      11. tangible results-first approach as first step in launching performance improvement thrusts rather than programs, preparations or problem solving. what are some things that can be accomplished in the next little while? what the resistant people will be ready to do? increase by a specific % in a matter of months.
      12. it becomes risky in excellent companies not to take a little risk, not to step out & do a little something. the management task then becomes one of nurturing good tries, allowing modest failures, labelling exp after the fact as succeses, leading the cheers, quietly guiding the diffusion process.

    CLOSE TO THE CUSTOMER “understanding customers is understanding business”

    • look for things to do to get into the customer’s premises
    • consistent overcommittment to reliability/quality/service than to tech or low-cost production for long-term revenue growth.
    • care = keep communications flowing even after sales. fight for him all the way to get him the best & coming in thr in a pinch.
    • promises are kept no matter what the cost in agony & overtime or else gaurantee free service.
    • short service turnaround – ansering every customer’s problem within 4hrs.
    • short on-site service time – intense training, bringing in hordes of experts, overequipping service devices
    • daily reports of lost costumers.
    • measure internal & external costumer satisfaction every month
    • bear product proliferation – run overtime to restock a store braving extraordinary weather or help clean up after a hurricane.
    • overspend on training of sales force – noncommission sales force for problem solving.
    • intensive training – know the answers or know where to get the answers. everything about the company, how each division relates to another & what is his role in the big picture
    • seniors explicit mission statement about service – as real time issues deserving immediate personal attention & dramatic delivery. therfore have regular meetings with juniors & personally inspect stores
    • cross utilization to visit customers
    • instill enthusiasm for the product into all. market sales shouldn’t tamper the zeal. never an idle time. unbridled rage for not shooting for 100%
    • service incentive programs – homegrown & continuously retuned. fired for consistently failing.
    • market decides how much service & what quality
    • reliability & value added rather than first, so take time to iron out bugs.
    • low cost only if selling to other companies not to end users
    • put up too many stores in any one position to discourage the entry of competitiors
    • nichemanship – segment costumers for tailoring service where you are better than anybody else. every costumer as a separate segment. many little products for niches. attributes for niche strategies:
      1. learn tech in one niche, then test it with later users to iron out bugs, then pass it on to other users
      2. be an early bird with high cost, get out when competition to low cost arises & start devoloping next several generations of products from the early experience
      3. fing a good contact point for high net worth programs
      4. be costumer problem slvers – spend forever to get ot know the customer well
      5. spend whats necessary to make a store attractive. gold buget for market testing
    • innovate by listening regularly to lead/giant users & user-innovator combinations. invite costumers to the company or travel exclusively to user’s location & survey needs. experiment in conjunction with lead user. get pushed around by customers.

    AUTONOMY & ENTREPRENEURSHIP

    • the new idea either finds a champion or dies… no ordinary involvement with the new idea provides the nergy required to cope with the indifference and resistance that major change provokes. the champion is zealot, fanatic, loner, cranky, obnoxious, impatient, egoistic, a bit irrational in organizational terms, not the typical administrative type. as a consequence, he is not hired. if hired, he is not promoted or rewarded. he is regarded as not a serious person, embarrassing or disruptive – but he believe in the specific product he has in mind. we expect the champions to be irrational. – if i had known then that it would take 40 versions before the ski was any good, i might have given it up. but unfortunately, you get trapped into believing the next design will be it. the champion might even be an idea theif. but above all, he is the pragmatic one who grabs onto someone else’s theoritical construct if necessary & bullheadedly pushes it to fruition. he steps out and takes risk not because of some good feeling in the gut, but because the history of the institution supports doing so as a way of life that leads to success. and he does so despite the certainity of repeated failure.
    • in order to breed entrepreneurial spirit rather than formal product training, they were creating almost radical decentralization & autonomy, with its attendant overlap, messiness around edges, lack of co-ordination, internal competition, & somewhat chaotic conditions. successful executive chamion is invariably an ex-product champion -he is been there, seen wht it takes to shield a potential practical new idea from organization’s formal tendency towards negation. what strikes most about excellent companies is the completeness of their support systems for champions -their systems are designed to leak so that scrounging champions can get something done. they often do this in skunk works. it consists of 8-10 people & is located in a dingy 2nd floor loft 6miles form corporate headquarters. although the company has 1000s of Ph.Ds, the technical genius is a fellow whose highest degree is a high-school equivalency diploma earned in the army in korea. one of the other memebers of the group was arrested for sneaking into a manufacturing facility to which he head no pass & swiping some material needed to get on with an experiment -prototyped product in 28days -with nickel & dime items iproving performance over orginal design specs by a factor of 3 -the president visited his basement and approved design changes on the spot. simulated entrepreneurship – give station managers osme control over their destinies. they were graded not on total performance but on those variables over which they had some control. they had unusual control over hiring, firing, own financial systems, own purchasing, accounting, personnel, quality assurance -lots of authority -these are the men on the front line, they are likely, over the long haul, to make better decisons than any central staff. myhts & tales laud the valiant brand manager who has challenged those many years his senior, repositioned his brand against all odds and in competition with all other brand managers. warm armpit marketting – avoiding the purchasing agents by starting out as salesmen to get close to the customer and act as sophisticated problem solvers. its a tough one. it involves socializing the managers to believe they are would-be champions, yet at the same time maintain very substantial control where it counts. create the mythology, role models, structure of heroes that transfer the burden of commitment, fire onto the brand managers and prodide incredibly tight and regular support systems that silently prop up the brand manager and aid him in getting his job done. focus on products, projects, customers -small independent /product champion led new venture teams/ bootlegging teams / ever shifting segements.
    • inernal competition – 2 ways of sorting things out in organizations. first is by rules or algorithm which the rationalists would have us do. at the other end o fthe spectrum, the market is brought inside. the organization is driven by internal markets/competition. markets exist for people looking to be assigned to project teams -direct project competition occurs. brands compete. purposeful overlapping and duplication among divisions and product lines is induced. we would rather have the second product in the market come from another of our own divisions -tailoring new products to user needs, it does not demand discreteness of products. bootlegging is not only overlooked but surreptitiously supported. formal, rational sorting devices are bypassed. prsidents, buyers, co-ordinators engage in an unending tussle for scarce floor space. the company reorganizes regularly as both winners and losers emerge. brand managers are not given info about what is going on other than the public info but are encourgaed to cannibalize a fellow product than beat the competition. company formally encourages multiple approaches to the same problem, then at some point, it conducts performance shoot-outs among the copeting groups – real performance comparisions not the more typical competition among paper plans – sell it to the sales force which does not have to accept a product developed by a division unless it wants it, forcing the engineers to go staright to the customer tomake the first sales presentations of new prototypes. internal competition entails high costs of duplication, yet the benefits, though less measurable are manifold esp in terms of commitment, innovation and focus on hte revenue line.
    • easy communication -
      less meetings, few scheduled – casual gathering from different disciplines to talk about problems in a campus like setting -inbred nature ensures people get to know one another overtime, right peole being in touch with one another very regularly. devils advocate – set an agenda and periodically disband and reconstitute the committee to catalyse a fresh flow of ideas.
      extraordinary intensity – no holds barred – questions at presentations are unabashed, nobody hesitates to cut-off the chairman. people go off the issues bluntly staightforwardly. political event not a rare formal meeting – people dont hide they talk all the time.
      physical supports – blackboards everywhere, ubiquitous use of butcher paper on a stand, single noncosmopolittan setting where every little bit enhances the odds of important idea exchange -disproportionaletly large number of campusses, long mess tables for starngers / marketer or manufacturer from other divisions to come in contact, eat lunch there, do problem solving there.
      forcing devices -foster wild ducks [dreamers, mavericks, genuises] – a fellow is given free rein for 5yrs to shake up the system -spend several milloins to buy microprcessors essentialy out of catalogues, has 1000s of people at his beck & call who dont report to him directly but are available to work on projects as he needs them. awards for excellence in interdivisional technollogy transfer encourages every project manager to spend 20% of his time experimenting with new technologies, toy shop where insiders can view or rent robots to spur their move into future, technology centres where peole from dispartate disciplines get together to innovate.
      remarkably tight control systems – no team can spend more than a few 1000 without a whole bunch of people looking over their shoulders, not kincking them around but being genuinely interested in how it is going.
    • the subsequently developed project came in ahead of the original schedule -its just amazing to see what a handful of dedicated people can do when they are turned on. of course they have an adv -since they were so resource constrained, they had to design a simpler product in the first place.
    • some of its researchers’ ideas do not have enough apparant promise to finance. thus the company leaves enough maneuvering room for an ambitious researcher to engage in clandestine work that is surreptitiously financed by funds allocated for an another project -bootlegging such unauthorized research can sometimes pay big dividends.
    • there is no shortage of creativity or creative people. the shortage is of innovators. all too often, people believe that creativity automatically leads to innovation. it doesnt. creative people tend to pass the responsibility for getting down to brass tacks to others.they are the bottleneck. they make none of the right kind of effort to help their ideas get a hearing & a try. a brainstorming session with inexperienced people will produce exciting new ideas – that shows how little relative importance ideas themselves have. idea men constantly pepper evrybody with proposals & memorandums that are just brief enough to get attention, to intrigue & sustain interest but too short to include any responsible suggestions for implementation. the scarce people are the ones who have the know-how, energy, daring, & staying power to implement ideas .. since business is a get things done institution, creativity without action-oriented follow-through is a barren form of behavior -it is irresponsible.
    • the product winner has worked with R&D on an intense, personal basis [most of his less successful cohorts worked only formally with researchers]; as a result he garners an unfair share of time and attention; starying far beyond his official charter, he gets involved in a hands-on way with pilot manufacturing. his intensity leads him to try more things, learn faster, get lots more time and attention from other functions -eventually to succeed. the point is to get on with testing & moving ahead. there are no genuises in business. you just gotta keep at it. the crystal clear message is that no matter how small the odds are of any one thing’s working, the probability os something succeeding is very high if you try lots of things. management must allow sufficient number of projects with a long enough lead time for the charecteristic 1:20 success ratio to have effect. initially, entrepreneurial managers may need to undertake projects in somewhat lower risk ratios in order to build management confidence.
    • the only way os assuring more hits is to increase the number of at bats -have more would-be champions – treat evry customer, for all practical purposes as a new product test site. we are not putting all of our eggs into the basket of one miracle drug for the future. if i’ve got 1billion of sales, i’d be a lot happier with 10 businesses at 100million than 2 at 500milllion.
    • tolerating failure -
      champions have to make lots of ties and consequently suffer some failures or the organization wont learn. failures are a lot less punishing with regular dialogue. the big failures, the ones that really leave scars are usually the ones in which a project was allowed to go on for yrs without serious guidance. such such eventualities do not occur in no holds barred communication environment where exchange is frank, hinest and you cant hide the really bad news and you dont want or need to.
      champions dont automatically emerge. they emerge because history & numerous supports encourage them to, nurture them through trying times, celebrate their successes, nurse them through occassional failures. but given the supports the would-be champion population turns out to be enormous, not limited to a handful of creative marvels.
      a common theme prevails – sticking to a central discipline [chemical engineering] doesnt mean mundane product line extensions.
      commitment is the sine qua non of good product development – a monomaniac with a mission and minimum of interference from above- who invents or promotes when others los faith or figures out how to mass produce it economically.
      executive champion -protects youngsters from premature intrusions from corporate staff and to push them out of the nest when the time is right. he is a coach, mentor, paid for his patience & skill in developing other champions, agonizing process of delegating to youngsters.
      new venture team – the fundamental unit of support for the champion. it is a task force with full time indefinite assignment from various disciplines, volunteers, and staying power. the company knows this ritual is duplicative, esp early on when only a third of a manufacturing person is needed, but they seem to pay the price of duplication willingly to get commitment. a volunteer cant get himself off the hook by saying the idea is poor, by pointing out all the deficiencies. team stays together form early in the initiation phase to the eventual rollout, they commit to you as a group, move forward with the product into the market and benefit from its growth so long as you meet conventional corporate measures and standards of performance. in cas you fail, we will give you a back-up commitment to job security at the level of the job you left before you entered this venture. [backing the good tries even if they fail]. the reward system supports both team and individual. everyone gets promoted as a group as their project moves along form hurdle to hurdle. the champion benefits as the group prospers and vice-versa.
      value system – thou shalt not kill a new product idea. the company may slow it down or it may not commit a venture team, but it doesnt shoot its pioneers.
      publicity – the would-be champion gains encouragement from the panoply of heroes tales : dont kill ideas, scourge, failure is ok, yrs and yrs are expected to pass before a raw idea makes it in the marketplace…those who stayed were celebrated. the freedom to persist implies the freedom to do things wrong and to fail.
      belief in practical solving capability – reinforce close interaction between company and customer, technician doesnt have to be the one who invents.
      no cash cow idea -projects are not limited on the basis of potential market size becuase the first use is so often unrelated to eventual product potential. virtually any idea is ok, if the product idea can meet financial measures of growth, profitability.. have it whether or not its in their dominant field of business. because of the diversity, the conviction spreads easily that someone will be able to use alomost anything.
      dont kill but do deflect ideas to bet on people and to avoid foolish overspending- you invariably have to kill a program atleast once before it succeeds, thats how you get down to fanatics who are really emotionally committed to finding a way – any way to make it work. the champion as his idea moves out of the conceptual stage into prototyping, starts to gather a team about him. then suppose the program hits a snag, will porbably cut it back quickly, knock some people off the team, but as the myht supports, the champion if he is committed, is encouraged to persist by himself or withh one co-worker at 30% or so level of effort, survives the commercial deployment time of ups and downs, eventually the market becomes ripe, his team rebuilds.
      numbers game -make a little, sell a little, make a little bit more. big ends from small beginnings. spend just enough money to get whats needed next to incrementally reduce ignorance. lots of small tests in a small interval, development is a series of small excursions. the odds on any 1 idea making it thr is zero, there is no limit on raw ideas. so champions are all over the place experimenting, spending a little, most fail, some march thr hurdles, a few go all the way.
      limited bureaucracy – dont constrain with plans at the beginning when ignorance is highest. put together meticulous sales implementation plans only after we know something., first done some simple tests on customer premises or in a piolot facility somewhere. make market forecasts after entering the market.product is never justified on analytical case, it must be based on belief.organization structure is irrelevant, but traits that are essential are a radically decentralized business with many divisions to spin things off rather than seek high sales volume /funding from one division. each division has an ironclad requirement that atleast 25% of its sales must be driven from products that did not exist 5yrs ago. straightforward incentives are there pushing you to look any place to sell an idea / to look any place to buy one.

    PRODUCTIVITY THROUGH PEOPLE

    • peopel oriented communication – plenty of words to describe the way to treat others, phrases that upgrade individual status, chain of command only for top decisions not for day-to-day communication, spartan settings & community centre activities – clubs, sports, travel; top management wanders for exchanging info with low level employee & customers
    • doing one thing together each day reinforces unity & fun
    • unscreened emotional & personal speeches by the chief gives aesthetic motivation to act, eat, sleep, breathe the activity
    • make them winners by fully training them about everything – intense screening & training & provide practical opportunities by intentionally taking on small uneconomic projects & mainstream hands-dirty positions & bottom production line; not ffoled by abstractions of planning, market research or management systems.

      judgement can only be developed by using it not by substituting rules 

    • learning through heroes & stories about persisting in pursuit of innovation & starting off at the bottom & making it to the top
    • information is shared widely for
    • morale down the rank
    • respond more to coparative performance info
    • quickly measure whether the job is getting done
    • makes goals explicit & partnership concrete
    • outweighs harm that might come from abusing competitive info by treating people as adults
    • non-evaluative by superiors but quiet potent peer pressure spurs greater effort
    • creating a setting in which virtually everybody wins regularly esp helping the middle 60% a few steps up the ladder – high number of awards gives highperceived possibility of winning & stretches the average man to achieve
    • chunk with less layering even with duplication for – manageability by personal contact, be themselves & see each others contribution, unduce commitment by sticking out individually, feel responsible for the company’s image, letting the team to set its own goals since by being close they know their job better, smallness stems creativity & quickly respond to problems
    • give extraordinary independence – functions & resources to exploit

    HANDS-ON, VALUE-DRIVEN

    • Vision decide what your company stands for that
      • gives everyone most pride & enthusiasm; brings out great energies & talent
      • you could look back on with greatest satisfaction
      • you’re prepared to change everything except those beliefs
      • premises all policies & actions upon
    • Diffused by unashamed collectors & tellers of myths in support of basic beliefs
      • socially integrating, harmonious, uplifting ideal
      • fulfills day-to-day decisions & unified needs
      • not manipulative, cynical, restricted to holiday speeches
    • Sustain this appealing power of common cause & sense of direction through the many generation changes by implementing scores of daily events; not
      • organizational form
      • admin skills
      • financial targets
      • sheer survival
    • Leader does not compromise or choose verbally or even consciously. isn’t charismatic, but
      • constantly preaches truth
      • expert in promotion, protection, extraordinary persistance in reinforcing values & distinctive identity
      • comes from operational background so is comfortable in constantly monitoring speed & direction of each employee
      • spends time down the line esp juniors
      • commits to the detail & defines character directly through deeds even in smallest opportunity
      • wanders so
        • all can identify him, not for personal glory or to undermine others
        • listen to suggestions, arguments, criticisms
        • inform what’s going on in the company & what is imp to them
        • unleash fun & kill grimmaces
      • backbreaking work – persistance, travel, long hrs, hands-on
      • come down clearly on one side of apparent contradiction at each point in history
    • common qualities in all excellent companies value systems:
      • financial & strategic objectives are discussed in the context of being a by-product of doing something the company wants to do well
      • effort to inspire those at the bottom to get the best from the person with 50% ability
      • executing extremely well is often more productive than creating fresh ideas or choosing best competitive strategies
      • specific content in the dominant beliefs
        • being the best
        • superior quality / service
        • details of execution
        • functional communication – barring chain of command to keep info flowing, one big family, informality & first names

        • people as individuals
        • opportunity is random & unpredictable so treat everyone at all levels as innovators & the willingness to support failure
        • recognize the imp of economic growth
      • homogenous staff – by regular meetings & talk 1/day without agenda to check expectations

    STICK TO THE KNITTING

    • superior performers accommodate both the need to adapt through diversificaton [related businesses outperform vertically integrated single businesses] & the value of managing adaptaton around the core skill.
    • prefer specialization or internal expansion to mergers or takeovers.
    • either the specific technological discipline or extensive schooling in the major functional business is highly over-represented in senior management in leading organizations.
    • virtually all the growth in excellent companies is internally generated & home-grown. the few acquisitions followed a simple rule – they have been small businesses that could be readily assimilated without changing the character of the acquiring organization. & small enough so that if there is failure, the company can divest or write it off without substantial financial damage.when they stuck a toe in new waters & failed, they terminated the experiment quickly. transparent efforts to acquire a window on a new skill, but at a size that is manageable enough to allow early painless integration.
    • vanity acquisitions- the company decides it is in a slugish business. it decides to move afield. it doesnt know what it is buying. it buys businesses at or past its peak. moreover, it doesnt understand them. finally, devastating of all, the effort & attention going into the management of new acquisitions sap the vitality of already shaky core business. new products [line extensions or reformulations of old products] are given short shift or subjected to short cuts.

    SIMPLE FORM, LEAN STAFF

    • making an organization work has everything to do with keeping things simple understandable for the thousands who must make things happen – one dimension, product or geography or function has crystal clear primacy & not paralysed by complex systems that dilute priorities by saying to people down the line ” evrything is imp; pay equal attention to everything”
    • in successful project management companies having formal matrix structures, people operate in a binary way – they are either a part of a project team for getting some task accomplished or they are part of a technical discipline in which they spend time making sure their technical department is keeping up with thye state of the art.
    • underpinning excellent companies is a stable unchanging form that everybody understands & from which the complexities of day-to-day life can be approached. clarity on values is also imp.
    • excellent companies are flexible in responding to fast changing conditions in the environment & in dealing with the issues posed by the ubiquitous presence of matrix like conditions.
    • the unifying organization theme makes better use of small divisions & reorganize more flexibly, frequently & fluidly. and can make better use of temporary forms such as task forces & project centers. they are rearranging the ornaments but seldom the branches.
    • a lot of efficiencies you are supposed to to get from scale are not real at all. once you get the big monster going, you’re going to create inefficiencies that you don’t know are there. if the management does see them, it won’t be aggressive in rooting them out, because it doesnt have control of them.
    • what makes the product division as building block structures work:
      1. all the main functions including product dev, marketing, distribution & personnel are in each division.
      2. constant hiving off of new divisions & rewards for so doing.
      3. guidelines that describe when a new product line automatically becomes an independent division.
      4. shifting people & even products among divisions on a regular basis & without the acrimony.
    • high value on pushing the authority down the line & preserving & maximising practical autonomy for large numbers of people.
    • most reorganization takes place around the edges.
    • ability to pull people from several layers down it the technical structure & put those individuals in charge of major projects often with high salaried, more senior people reporting to them.
    • what few staff there is in simple organizations, tends to be out in the field solving problems rather than in the home office checking on things. bottom line is fewer administrators, more operators.
    • what functions have to be retained by the corporate? the answer in many excellent companies is practically none. virtually every function in excellent companies is radically decentralised, down to the division level. rule of 3yr staff rotation – corporate staff now that they will be back to line operation again. if you know you are going to become a user within 36mon, you are not likely to invent an overbearing bureaucracy during your brief sojourn on the other side of the fence.
    • flat organization where several branch managers report to the same person is possible. middle managers act as sponge stopping ideas coming down & those going up. hands on management becomes a lot more workable when thers are fewer people in the middle.
    • 3 pillars responding to the 3 basic needs -
      1. stability for efficiency = simple consistent underlying form & broad yet flexible enduring values.
      2. entrepreneurship for regular innovation = stay smal by constantly hiving off new or expanded activities into new divisions. thus not depending on vast integrating systems, one can survive with simpler measuring systems & smaller staff
      3. habit breaking for avoiding calcification of modest responsiveness to atleast major threats = willingness to reorganize regularly & on a temporary basis to attack specific thrusts [meet shifting pressures without putting in place huge permanent integrating committee devices which in only theory take care of all possible problems from all different dimensions] i.e willingness to:
        1. hive off new divisions as old divisions get big
        2. shift products among divisions so as to take advantage of special management talents or market reallignments
        3. take the top talent & bring it together temporarily on project teams aimed at solving a few central organizational problems

    SIMULTANEOUS LOOSE-TIGHT PROPERTIES

    • loose = autonomy – faith through value systems [workers, product ideas & quality, customer service]
    • tight = control – getting right execution of even tiny details every moent from individual line worker
    Posted in INITIATIVES | Tagged | Leave a comment

    these neighbours are purposefully making noise & talking about me despite me avoiding them… that i don’t have any interest in studies & that i’m mad. i could eat only twice since the past 10 days [may 14th - 23rd] & did some search reading to regain myself:

    Its not the critic who counts, not the one who is not in the arena.  The credit belongs to who errs & comes short again & again, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions & spends himself in a worthy cause.  His place shall be never with those cold & timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
    The prize that escapes your hands tests your mettle & proves your worth, shows if your stuff is real
    Not enjoyment & not sorrow is our destined end or way, but to act that each tomorrow find us farther than today.
    Trust no future however pleasant! Let the dead past bury its dead! Act-act in the living present!
    Leave behind us footprints that another shipwrecked seeing shall take heart again.
    Let us then be up & doing with a heart for any fate.
    East & west will pinch the heart, that cannot keep them pushed apart.
    And he whose soul is flat – the sky will cave in on him by & by.
    Hold on when thers is nothing in you except the will which says ‘Hold on’.

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    Vocabulary building

    When i’m feeling knotted & flab, i will create a mantra to ruminate in the void by preparing a story from the meanings of the unknown words in barron’s vocabulary builder’s junior word lists. this is from the 30th list [v&w]:

    A VIVACIOUS, VOLUBLE, WINSOME lady without any WHEEDLE OR WILY language calmed the VIRILE, VINDICTIVE male who with VITUPERATIVE tone was VOCIFEROUSLY VILIFYING a WAN, WIZENED BUT VENERABLE, VIRTUOSO old man who was’nt giving up on his WANTON WONTS.

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    Compelling characters [DOF TVRP RAP]

    Dynamism – admirable skill, passionate about
    Obsession – caring or desires someone/something, urgency, conflict
    Fear – force to confront to get what you want
    Transitions <good-bad>
    Voice
    Relevant backstory references
    Psychic wound – past influences to react to present, seeking solace in fantacy, fear intimacy, pursue intensity or novelty
    <Treats people & how people treat> Relates to people – inferior, superior, trusting, introvert, chivalrous.
    Appearnace impacting life & personality – suggests/implies/reveals character, consequences<we shape & are ahaped by it>
    Blind spots – gap between self perception & perception of others

    Antagonism, Identity crisis -
    External action [run/face/overcome/fail]    – plot driven, superficial, commercialism
    Internal action [values, beliefs] – literary, boring, stagnant
    Change / growth / resolution

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    Narcissism

    has a consciously choosen identity, not one that evolved naturally, therfore requires people for constant reaffirmation of its value.

    their emotions are not linked to anything internal. they don’t empathize.
    choosing of identity comes first; they don’t pick their identity based on their emotional range; picking who they are chages how they feel & think.
    they don’t feel guilt based on objective right & wrong. no remorse.
    they only feel shame on exposure of the lie, true self, pain of narcissistic injury & volitional expression of rage if something threatens the identity.
    they have a secret. that’s why they murder the people they are trying to deceive. they are not doing it for you.

    when they get caught [rebuttal]: wait, that’s not really who i ….am actually a good person… this stuff is just an aberration, if i can just get away i’ll be back to being a valuable again.
    it would have to look like an accident to everyone. selfless act, the total denial of himself, his identity & motivations would be impossible for a man who is acting from a narcissistic perspective.

    to cull narcissism – own up to your lies before they become bigger and out of control ; repeatedly show others that keeping up of their appearances is unimportant to you.

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    why this life

    Nothing is more painful than the perplexing thought that how & why the universe came into existence.
    was it created & evolving? if yes, why & how, if not then what is all this about?
    why bear all this pain of a narrow life.
    how can the universe be revealed. why exist or cease existence.
    what’s all that stuff people say about life. why should all that be so.
    what are the limits, what are the rules and why. why why…….i want to go mad.
    what’s the base, is there one. can the answer be held if known, the vastness, the brightness, emptiness, can they be captured by a single being ever.
    i wish i get churned up in a space storm or just befall at speeds that strip my consciousness exposing me to a calm revealing stroking subconscious where the existence of anything or ceasing of anything at all vanishes.
    flab lulling me into nothingness, nothingness lulling me into flab, hugging me into ‘never come back to anything nothing’.

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    literary from some beautiful flickr member caught me

    I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through.
    And I wish I knew what was wrong. may be something about how stupid my whole life is.  I don’t know.
    why does the rest of the world put up with hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?
    I don’t know the answer, I only know that I can’t.
    I don’t want anymore vicissitudes, I don’t want any more of this try, try again stuff.
    I just want out. I’ve had it. I’m so tired.
    I’m twenty and I’m already exhausted.

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    i'm envisioning a resolution for this decade : mastery

    Memorize the vocabulary for fluency:

    1. read thoroughly the standard textbooks : kumar&clark, harrison, scwartz, sabiston, natarajan, ghai, shaw, dutta, park, ganong, chaurasia/online images, harper, tripati, robins, dhingra, khurana
    2. regularly scan the med blogs/tweets & med journals on the internet [subscribe in Google reader]
    3. watch for workshops/seminars/interviews of professors

    Sensing efficient diagnosing habits:

    1. clinicals treading on – explicit expectations, broad labels, devil’s advocate, periodic reviews, different viewpoints
    2. read best-selling books related to medical profession [bookmark in my Googlebooks]

    Exposing to feedback for an evolving resolution:

    1. blogging regularly what all i learn – collaborating with seniors
    2. freelancing for mentors – who can give actionable advice

    elusive and frustrating nature of mastery:

    when we practice properly, we aren’t just accumulating factual knowledge, instead we’re embedding our factual knowledge into our unconscious, so that even insanely complicated calculations become mostly automatic.

    experts are profoundly intuitive. when they evaluate a situation, they don’t systematically compare all the available options or consciously analyse relevant information. instead, depend on emotions generated by their experience.

    their prediction errors – all the mistakes they made in the past – have been translated into useful knowledge, which allows them to tap into a set of accurate feelings they can’t begin to explain. an expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

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    What might help considering while collaborating for a purpose

    [PIGIQ CDASS LISTR]

    Past inadequacies or glories of the person
    Self-image he/she is holding to
    Future goals he/she wants to achieve
    Involve the person with interactions
    Quick accessibility to hook one up to his/her competency

    Clarity in the mission statement
    Deadline to immediately mobilize others
    Authority references for gaining trust
    Straight-forward target steps for each responsibility
    Superiority of the plan to remove confusion

    Explaining the logical consequences of the purpose
    Harnessing on their common interests
    Activities that utilize one’s senses help one to relate personally
    Tangible experiences aid easy visualization
    Rewards as feedback for improving adherence

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    Rennaissance-man-dom

    Compel to contextualize myself to figure out what i can best create & contribute.
    Show some agency. Do not ride rails, Do not trust cached conclusions or wishful thinking.

    Second order imitation is where it is at.
    Make stuff i genuinely like, i myself admire & respect.
    First order imitation isn’t quite the strategy to most effectively develop a skill.
    Secure the enthusiasm needed to progress & finish, because you’re guaranteed atleast one positive recipient.
    Do, but not to get the vapours. It’s not worth my time to care for money, love or fame.

    With an imperfect clarity of purpose & the epiphany of not having to choose, do a variety of things all at once, rejecting compartmentalization.
    Interesting things lie just beyond a thin boundary permeable only by fearlessness.

    Involuntarily get limited by this bothersome feeling, which is the generating force of my every goal, but grown & to an extent returned to being vastly more true to myself at the fair price of occasionally bewildering those who like something else entirely.

    What you want to achieve should bear on the present. Future tense goals delude progress.
    Work & fight to be in the zone by calling inspiration to you through actual work, instead of dreaming or waiting or talking about it.
    To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The flow demands that we’re relaxed alert & engaged.
    Without letting anyone else, be it from the past or present, it is upto me to make a narrative out of all the random events that happen to me, to tell myself an ongoing story of myself to shape my actions energy & future: streamlining what’s important, making it a routine & getting frequent feedback for deliberate practice.

    My present OBJECTIVES:

    1. Routine drills 12-5am.
    2. Revise the keywords by increasing connections & contrast.
    3. Browse medJuornals/blogs for experiences/symbols.
    4. Timed solving of MCQs, impromptu recital as youtube video,…

    Posted in learnt today, mbbs | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

    my motivators & demotivators

    Motivators

    1. The story you tell yourself about yourself, to shape your actions, your energy, your future, to help you achieve the things in life you want to achieve, is the only one thing that truly matters. What are the narratives you tell that create & perpetuate this opinion?
    2. Autonomity – nothing motivates better than making it on your own. stealth doer. Call inspiration to you through actual work, instead of dreaming or waiting or talking about it.
    3. Living well is the best revenge. Fake the way you want to better feel. Sensible people learn civility since they try to educate themselves on rationality. idiots always sizzle in emotions unfathomed by their fickle mind’s failure to grasp the reason.

      The underutilized mind creates unnecessary drama.

    4. I’m here to stay. You have to fight your life battles all alone. Greatest battles are fought daily in the silent chambers of soul. Don’t compromise on yourself. You’re what you have. Think success. Your attitude is everything.
    5. Focus your time & money. Never let anything or anyone to distract you. Flow doesn’t just happen, we must work & fight for it. To be caught in ennui of depression or agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow.
    6. Ok, may be everyone’s greater than me in terms of ability / skills/ education/ attitude/ behaviour /wordly knowledge/ upbringing/ status/ connections/ initiativeness, but my point in living is to forward myself intellectually.
    7. I’ll get you good. my pull for the undoubtedly top idea is more than my drag from imposter syndrome’s fears. Don’t give a damn!
    8. When lacking clarity or energy, hand-write rather than type out your thought outlines. Be assured you can quickly type out later when you are feeling up on your feet.
    9. Take only one shot to answer criticism. Don’t show aggression or anger or submission or victimhood or any emotion.

      Its not what you say, but what status heirachial position you have

    10. Fast but only for self-actualization & with preset attributes like time & intake so that it won’t effect your health threshold or spiral into a false Gandhian status signalling.
    11. To err is human. But is my criticism really a mistake in the first case & which nonsensical person is attributing it to my academic failures. Secondly,why am i getting affected when its common for even more able students than me to behave so?
    12. If you have real insights into medical knowledge you would have recognized my problem.
    13. Rudyard Kipling’s ‘if you can’ poem. Don’t quit. Realize the dynamism of life & believe you are destined for great.
    14. quick questioning strategy for productivity [wedge-rules respect-deadlines pound-hard fail-now produce-future]
    15. If the individual permits it, environment will teach all that it wants to. As the person gains confidence in his skills, he will venture out all alone & people follow the one who knows the way.

      I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free
      - Michelangelo

    16. Future of your ideas is as tender and delicate as that of a newborn. Ignore the damning demons, lobby support, demand attention, attack don’t just wait like a cripple, work to make it beautiful, push since you know what you have done is good enough.
    17. Read as if you are orating the best idea with a mike or Listen to music when bugs don’t vacate your mind or Blog even when you haven’t completed academic notes since it only takes a day but gives you a howl of satisfaction which fuels your academic effort.
    18. academic experiences/admirable ideas : med journals, science channels, PD blogs

    Demotivators:

    1. uneasy & ineffective communication and behaviour
    2. getting high on the feeling that quotes solve my concentration problems.

      Don’t tell me quotes. Tell me what you know  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

    3. people who don’t believe in cause & effect or that things can happen randomly
    4. turbulent mind, mirror admiration, giggling, altering hand-writing, cooking when tired, film songs’ obsession or current news hype.
    5. brewing up empty thought calculations, contemptous or aggressive emotions, bickerings, nagging, scolding.
    6. reverting on my ‘cut-ties’ decision. Trusting cached conclusions or wishful thinking [masquerading lies]
    7. rogues/cynics/seducers/flirts/those who pose as innocent or kind/those who help others in the name of god
    8. people who use pre-emtive stategies for their shameful behavior: excuses, forgoing, rationalizing, forgetting,  sweeping facts under the carpet, keeping tabs/spying, peeping/eavesdropping, spreading rumors, falsifying facts, backbiting, bluffing, bribing
    9. assuming worst from abscence of clear adequate official explanation of people’s delibrate taunts /shows of strength /results of factional feuding/ simple miscalculations.
    10. answering arbittrator-poser’s/nosy people’s questions/directions.
    Posted in learnt today, mbbs | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

    Critical thinking

    Critical thinking is the art of intellectual discipline done over the varied information & facts we receive from the world & also over our own thoughts & biases from our culture or upbringing.

    For that you need to be a sceptic first. Scepticism is tolerance to ambiguity. Handle uncertainty by suspending our judgement till a valid evidence is found.

    It’s not comfortable black & white rash conclusions or any reluctance to question received wisdom, authority & tradition.

    It’s about an appropriate response by moulding our beliefs towards the TRUTH, the reason that fits reality; which is not based on emotions or social pressure or assumptions or mystification.

    It is responsibility for our own thinking by clear expression of ideas.

    Posted in UNIVERSAL | Tagged , | Leave a comment

    Attributes of fearlessness: [ROOF CAIM DU]

    1. Intense realism – see through manipulations & what makes some people advance & others fall.
    2. Self reliance – autonomous decision is the ultimate motivation. In every maneuver in life must be ownership.
    3. Opportunism – all that matters is your attitude, how you look at it, to turn shit into sugar.
    4. Keep moving - do not let anything disrupt your flow. Don’t micro-manage the chaos.
    5. Confront people – know when & how to be bad.  Keep a flexible morality for self-interest.
    6. Lead by action – imbue proper spirit through action not words. Precept is better than example.
    7. Get an inside feel – never lose touch with your base. Beginning with the environment’s demand, create appropriate supply.
    8. Mastery – endure the hrs of practice for building the foundation that can continue to expand. Get an intuitive feel for what must come next.
    9. Aim high – knowing the dynamism of reality, believe you are destined for the great. With rising confidence in your abilities, you’ll take risks that’ll increase your chances of success & people follow those who know where they are going.
    10. Urgency - we gain a sense of proportion & mission when confronting the impermanence of life.
    Posted in UNIVERSAL | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

    Quick fixes for attaining the FLOW or ZONE [wedg-rules respect-deadlines pound-hard fail-now produce-future]

    It’s the power of full concentration to take us out of ourselves, out of all ideas that compose our private sense of who we are, including the things that limit and bind us.

    To lose yourself in the moment, you have to lose your past. Don’t cling to the things that you think define you. The things you own, end up owning you. We own hopes, worries, disappointment, past failures, private fears, those things that shame us, those voices from your past still living inside us saying how flawed & inadequate we are.

    When we’re attached to a particular outcome, that outcome owns us and we force the moment. We get anxious and this cuts directly against the state of mind that the zone demands.

    When we’re in the zone, we destroy the sense of I.
    When you orient towards thought, you silence demons…
    When you engage your mind, you get a grip…
    When you hush, you loosen the hold of your worries…
    The pieces fall into place

    You take a deep breathe stilling the universe
    Then you take a voluptuous gulp of the mystery residing in the silence
    From that gulp you make the world

    Some quick thought questions to check to get into the flow or zone:

    1. Would i respect myself? A Self assessment before committing to a specific action or Rebellion for the right to our own personhood instead of being an extension or reflection of others or relying on the esteem of others.
    2. What benefits my future self? for a bad habit of foisting tasks or when uncertain to pin down what is required to fare well on our report card.
    3. What’s the thin end of the wedge? to ease out a daunting task to a smallest portion that can be started upon. Zoom out to see at the overview, then zoom in to act on a chunk.
    4. Barf it out, then clean it up. Pound out a rough draft, then rewrite. Aim for only 70% mastery. then later when time permits intensively fill-in the gaps.
    5. Can i fail at this? If you can’t find the worst case for that task, bet you are on a procrastination spree.
    6. Always produce! No matter even if it sucks or doesn’t match your vision or isn’t fully formed.  That drives away the seductive demons of fantasization whose mission is to keep me thinking about doing stuff but never actually doing it. e.g: Learning to get insights into principles or vulnerabilities or fictional emotion’s vocabulary instead of empty thought calculations or bickering or aggression.
    7. What’s the deadline? compartmentalization, contrasting, pre-setting would prevent life from being overtaken by unending boondoggles of: ‘one builds about one’s own brilliance’.
    8. What are the rules? Limitations spark up creativity, makes first steps easier, acts like a scaffold to build the rest of the stuff, encourages stunts. e.g: keywords, pictures, strip to the minimum, disconnect internet, exotic location.
    9. What am i doing now? There’s no such thing as ideal conditions. Cut off any line of thought that terminates in my having convinced myself that I’ll act on my intentions in the future. If I’m serious about it, it’ll be reflected in what’s going on right now. Prevent excessive pipe-dreaming by priming like an unyielding posture [focused on breath], stoic expression [down gaze], hushed thoughts [less destructive conclusions on self], brimming words [you're getting better].
    10. What’s the hardest thing I can do? The only reason you’re considering the easier one is laziness. Helpful when choosing between defined options by tricking you to merely acknowledge what you’ve in the back of your mind about what’s the right thing to do. First things first .e.g: fear put-off events, batch routines, approaching trusted ties, consulting mentors.
    Posted in Crisis, INITIATIVES | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

    Tackling my regional bias

    I thought my upbringing [my father's stating of historical facts instead of airing his personal negative emotions] made me grew up unbiased towards issues like religion, caste, vaastu, gender.

    But, now i realized my insight is not that perfect because i’m beginning to notice, due impending state bifurcation, that my bias towards linguistic difference: “I’m pro-telugu down to extent of right dialect”.
    May be because i’m unconsciously more susceptible to speaking/writing in other’s patterns & averse to the charmless vilifying attitude of the non-locals [paradoxically they are the local telanganites now]
    I’m fond of orations in telugu, though lost access after school & uphold it above all other languages except for english which somehow is much easier for me to use both for thinking & speaking.
    Now, I’ve to curb my regional bias & my fear of their dialect, so that i can stay untouched like i would in my native place patronizing all sides equally & countering possible clashes with regional hatred or assumptions form others.
    I’ve to quickly quell any slant i’ve for this region & its dialect before they form discrete qualities in my character, for the sole purpose that truth balanced on sensitivity & rationality is what has to be upheld. So, I gathered facts from various news articles about the cultural & political history of this region:

    • The Hindu : Opinion / Editorial : Way out in Andhra Pradesh
      • The first thing the central government needs to do is to firm up its political resolve not to capitulate on a vital issue under the threat of orchestrated militancy and violence.
      • Everyone knows that long-festering problems do not allow for easy solutions. The Telangana issue as we know it has been around for half a century, and there is also a pre-history of a revolutionary struggle against landlordism in the region. The Congress party has always had an ambiguous stand on this issue.
      • while the diagnosis of the backwardness and neglect of the Telangana region is sound and must be empathised with, a just and progressive solution can be found within an undivided Andhra Pradesh on the basis of regional autonomy and big, concentrated development efforts.
    • www.outlookindia.com | Quo Vadis, Hyderabad?
      • unique lingua franca, Dakhni, one of the most identifiable markers of Hyderabad, is a delicious blend of Hindi, Urdu and Telugu, with a lacing of old Marathi. The plural character of the city dates back to its founder, Quli Qutb Shah, who was also a Telugu scholar. Geographically too, it is inclusive: the twin cities
      • city was never ruled directly by the British (there was a Resident stationed there), it owes its plural character not so much to the British but to the Nizams, who encouraged Parsis, Kayasthas and Maharashtrians to join the civil service. What is important is that the inclusive nature of the city blended all these communities into a harmonious whole, distinguished by the adoption, in their own manner, of what is known as the ‘Hyderabadi tehzeeb’—the traditional composite of civility, hospitality, courtesy and grace in social interaction, the hallmark of which is respect and consideration. The outsider in Hyderabad (though I believe that the city does not treat anyone as such) does not jar. A posting in Hyderabad invariably ends with it being the city of choice post-retirement, or at least the acquisition of some property. Those who stay on mould their tastes and even language to the habitat.
    • www.outlookindia.com | For Causerati To Pull A Fast One?
      • fasted for self-purification after falling short of his own ideals
      • fasted to atone for the lapses of others, and yes, to influence, through “moral pressure”
      • rules for the last kind of fast were clear—that he should have exhausted all reasonable avenues for persuading the other side, and, importantly, “that the fast,” as Rajmohan puts it, “should not produce more bitterness than existed previously”. No knee-jerk hunger-striker, he calibrated his fasts carefully, often setting out in advance the number of days he would fast, often making it clear that he did not expect to or want to die (only in rare situations were his fasts indefinite), even announcing such details as what he would do to make fasting easier on his body (“I propose to add juices of citrus fruits to make water drinkable”). “The idea,” explains Rajmohan, “was to stir consciences, not create convulsions”. He never, stresses Rajmohan, undertook a fast if he thought it could lead to an escalation of violence: “A fast as step one of a strategy where step two was violence was simply not acceptable to him.”
      • www.outlookindia.com | Whose, The Nizam’s Jewel?
        • Hyderabadis sympathetic to the Telangana cause are dismissive of politicians spearheading agitations for unity saying they are driven by the urge to protect their real estate interests. Rayalaseema and Andhra politicians, many allege, own large land banks whose prices will plummet should Hyderabad lose its branding
        • People admit to the entrepreneurial spirit of the Andhras and their contribution to the growth of Hyderabad as a business hub. Parthasarathy believes that if the state is bifurcated, the Andhras who have invested here will just move on. They will flock to the new capital because they will think in terms of a new city, new investments, he says. Hyderabad’s loss could well be the new capital city’s gain. Cyberabad could well become a city in its own right.
        Hyderabad Basics:
        • Population: 40 lakhLiteracy rate: 79.04%
        • Tax revenue: 51% of state revenue
        • IT exports: Rs 32,000 crore

        Why Andhra And Rayalaseema Say No To Telangana:

        • Telangana has all the central universities, an IIT and an NIT.
        • Hyderabad is home to the state’s major airport, business houses, the film industry and medical facilities.
        • A split would the people of coastal Andhra have to adjust to a fourth capital after Chennai, Kurnool and Hyderabad.
        • Coastal Andhra and Rayalaseema have demanded compensation of Rs 2 lakh crore for each of the regions towards their investments in Telangana in case Hyderabad is made part of the new state.
    • An avoidable mess over Telangana: Rediff.com India News
      • an army general said with a sad laugh, “the Chinese can relax, we are already doing what they had only expressed a desire to do in an article.”
      • There is sufficient scope in the Indian Constitution for forming new states, in fact the process has been made fairly easy and uncomplicated in what constitutional experts see as an indication that the founding fathers had visualised exactly such circumstances as the young country matured.

        But it is for the governments of the day to examine the demands and to determine through necessary commissions and committees of experts whether the separate state demanded will go a long way in redressing grievances of the affected people, alleviating poverty and in the long run bringing the country closer together.

        The Congress cave in has actually legitimised political blackmail, sending out the signal that this could work if taken to extreme limits. Chandrashekhar Rao could have been wooed out of the hunger strike by a special visit from a top Congress functionary. But in what is characteristic Congress style, the party decided to ignore him leaving itself with no option in the final reckoning.

      • Those in authority must realise that the carving out of states has to fulfil the demands of integration, and actually help in the development of the neglected regions. Jharkhand and Chhatisgarh and Uttarakhand are relatively new states, carved out of Bihar, Madhya Pradesh and Uttar Pradesh to empower linguistic and ethnic groups through development. Nothing of the kind has happened and the poverty in Jharkhand for instance continues unabated. Instead the political class is reaping the benefits of power, with the Khoda scam where the former chief minister amassed thousands of crores is a case in point. Maoism has grown in Chhattisgarh and Jharkhand, with the development funds now being diverted to tackle the insurgency.
    • Why is everyone scared of small states?: Rediff.com India News
      • Nagpur session, in December 1920, the Congress rewrote its charter under Mahatma Gandhi’s guidance. One of the changes was that the Pradesh Congress Committees would henceforth be constituted on a linguistic basis. This made no difference to the administration of the country because the British refused to redraw the map to the Congress’ whims
      • Sardar Patel, unlike the Mahatma, was no fan of linguistic provinces. When he completed his great work of unifying India he pointedly left intact the multi-lingual states of Madras, Bombay, Madhya Pradesh , and Assam. Another notable addition to that list was Hyderabad, which covered several districts now in Maharashtra and Karnataka
      • On October 19, 1952, Sriramulu began a second fast. He died on December 16 while New Delhi dithered.
      • There was talk of both states sharing the city, with Madras becoming a Union territory. This ignored the fact that Andhra would never actually touch Madras. (Once again, doesn’t that sound familiar?)

        Chakravarti Rajagopalachari, then chief minister of Madras state, scotched the proposal. When asked, Rajaji said he was warding off future trouble. When some spoke of Telugu cultural links to Madras he pointed out the ancient northern limit of Tamil culture lay in Tirupati. Kurnool became the capital of the new state.

        (Again, Maharashtra refused to cede Bombay city as its capital or share it with Gujarat when the state of Bombay was divided in 1960. Sadly, common sense was found wanting when Chandigarh was allotted as the common capital of Punjab and Haryana — a major issue during the time of terrorist troubles and a minor irritant both before and since.)

      • 1953, Nehru’s ministry thought it could better Sardar Patel’s work. Saiyid Fazal Ali, K M Panikker, and H N Kunzru were brought together as the States Reorganisation Commission.
      • 1969 riots were breaking out to create a separate Telangana. The Congress solution was to replace Brahmananda Reddy with a Telangana man, P V Narasimha Rao, in 1971. This in turn incited Coastal Andhra and Rayalseema. Indira Gandhi was forced to impose President’s Rule on the state — and you know the situation is bad when a Congress prime minister does that to a Congress-ruled state.
      • (And the Telugu Desam did the same in 2009. Neither the Congress nor the Telugu Desam has the moral authority to oppose the creation of Telangana.)

    Or instead should i, while separating the political chaff from the grain of development issues, ask a high motive but pertinent question like is separate state an effective solution?
    why can’t they ask for startup funding/training than inefficient unmotivating govt jobs. Isn’t entrepreneurship more an advantageous pursuit for the country’s economy; don’t those arts & economics students know that?
    why should this issue need any particular political party/leader representation?
    Paradoxically, do we need convincers/inspirers for airing an entrepreneurial dimension or else that worthy pursuit will get sidestepped for govt jobs?

    PS: JAN7:

    may be travelling is a much better way than gathering second-hand facts to debug myself? but where are the guts, inclination, money, time for that?

    PS: JAN 16:

    here are my highlights from an article on operation green hunt[maoists], a link i found at bookforum.com, nearly reflected/answered my doubts about why telangana student did not choose entrepreneurship for govt jobs & separate state:

    the article meanders on lines of:

    colonization—>Indian independence—>globalization—>telangana-maoists-adivasis/pheasants unrest —>operation green hunt—>colonization of rural poor—>what’s the escape?

    • Maoists wish to take political power through the barrel of their guns, and the India state wishes to grab Adivasi lands and natural resources and hand them over to corporations, foreign and domestic. Thus, the ‘sandwich theory’ sees middle India as the saviour of the nation as envisioned in the Indian Constitution.
    • Democracy is based on the belief that all people possess the capacities to determine their destinies. If this is true, then the ‘sandwich theory’ is fundamentally undemocratic.
    • attitude implicit in the ‘sandwich theory’ masks the latent authoritarianism that lurks beneath the facade of compassion for the poor. Of course, the Adivasis and the rural poor do not articulate their political choices in the language of scholars from Harvard and Oxford, IIT and JNU, or theories of democratic development, civil society, post-communism or post Marxism, but that is not to say they are passive victims without self-determination.
    • mysterious ways of development rewarded the few and impoverished the many. As disenchantment with development grew, the ‘poor’ was replaced by a more nuanced, exotic sounding term: the subaltern.
    • From subaltern to victim is a quick and easy step. As long as the Adivasis and rural poor remain victims, middle India is not required to speak in its own name, about its own interests and aspirations; it is enough to interpret for “them”.
    • two adversaries have remained steadfast and undeterred in their opposition to each other. During the colonial era and in the post-Independence era, ‘tribal rebellions’ and ‘peasant uprisings’ were the volcanoes that erupted from time to time and rocked the edifice of state power.
    • state, colonial or post-Independence, has shown remarkable consistency in its responses to the demands of the Adivasi and the rural poor. They have responded with guns and bayonets, mobilised the full might of the state, imprisoned, tortured, raped, and plundered the Adivasis and rural poor, and sentenced many to death. Remember Kista Gowd and Bhoomiah within living memories of many of us? The state has been equally consistent in its demands for more land, more resources, and more cheap labour. This extraordinary consistency of the two combatants has thrown everyone in between, middle India, into turmoil from time to time. Some have sided unequivocally with the Adivasis and the rural poor. They have been branded variously as extremists, insurgents and terrorists and met the same fate as the Adivasis. Others have sided unequivocally with the state, colonial or otherwise, and proactively participated in mobilising the state machinery against extremists, insurgents, terrorists, whatever. Yet others have felt hemmed in and ‘sandwiched’ between the two adversaries. Thus, it is middle India that is ‘sandwiched’ and feels beleaguered by the combatants.
    • what happened in Kalinganagar, or Singur, or Nandigram or Lalgarh, or now in Narayanpatna, follow in the same traditions, but middle India dithers to call them tribal rebellions or peasant uprisings. The current debates echo similar debates during the freedom struggle: M.N Roy’s spat with Lenin on the ‘agrarian question’, Aurobindo’s conversion from violence to non-violence, debates over Bhagat Singh and Chauri Chaura, to name a few. The ‘sandwich theorists’ are surprisingly ahistorical in their approach to the current stand off. Many go along with the state’s representation that the Maoist movement began as recent as 2004
    • The Boer Wars, the Scramble for Africa, and other colonial conflagrations culminated in the World Wars between imperialist nations with Britain at the helm. The freedom struggle was directed against British imperialism, at a time when Britain was militarily strong but a declining economic power. A wide cross section of classes, communities, nationalities, castes in Indian society between the Adivasis and the State, joined the freedom struggle, each with their own demands and their own aspirations. Industrial expansion occurred during that interim period of the World Wars. An emergent industrial class that profited from the World Wars also aspired for political power, and joined the freedom struggle. The debates about violence and non-violence, extremism and liberal democracy, social justice and rule of law, and other such questions were part of a wider process of forging a social contract between the multifarious classes, communities, castes, tribes, nationalities, religions, linguistic groups. The social contract was later embodied in the Constitution when India became a republic.
    • It promised to all ‘justice: social, economic and political’; it promised the Adivasis protection of their water, forests and lands, land reforms to the rural poor, offered special status to different nationalities, Assam, Meghalaya, Mizoram, Kashmir, jobs and collective bargaining rights to urban workers, linguistic reorganisation of states, rule of law and constitutional democracy, and most importantly adopted as its motto: ‘satyam eva jayate’ (truth alone prevails). That vision of a nation is at the heart of the dilemma that confronts middle India today.Independence of India was inaugurated with partition at two ends of the nation and the Telangana uprising in its belly.
    • Middle India was confident that with a new Constitution in place, the causes of tribal rebellions and peasant uprisings would be consigned to history. The imprint of the Communist Party of India, the largest opposition party in India’s Constituent Assembly that drafted India’s Constitution, was writ large in the social contract.
    • When the Naxalbari and Srikakulam uprisings erupted two decades later, it was clear that something had gone terribly wrong with that vision; that the social contract on which modern India was founded was wilfully broken. When the police and army cracked down on Naxalbari and Srikakulam tribals and peasants, as they always did, the state justified its actions in the same vein as today. The fight was not against tribals and peasants, but against armed Maoist insurgents, it was about violence and non-violence, the state argued. But middle India refused to be ‘sandwiched’. Thousands of students and youth joined the Naxalbari and Srikakulam tribals and peasants. They were abducted, imprisoned, tortured, killed and Indian English added a new meaning to the verb ‘encountered‘ after the faked ‘encounter’ killings. Even those opposed to the Maoists’ ideologies and methods refused to be ‘sandwiched’. People of the stature of Jayaprakash Narayan, V. M Tarkunde, Sathyaranjan Sathe, Samar Sen, to name just a few, insisted that the Maoists were idealists, impatient, ideologically misguided – they were anything but criminals and terrorists. Above all the ‘rule of law’ applied to Maoist as much as anyone else, they insisted. No one accused them of being terrorist sympathisers for that reason, not even the state. Post Naxalbari, middle India was dismayed, frustrated, angry, and disappointed with the state for breaking the social contract. They still held on to the vision of the nation that was forged during the freedom struggle, even when the vision was slipping away. ‘This is not the India our parents and grandparents fought for’ the post Independence generation seemed to say.
    • petitions called upon the state to implement minimum wage laws, health and safety laws, laws against bonded and child labour, resettlement and rehabilitation of displaced people. The Courts became involved in administration and law enforcement but rarely punished any state official for failing in their statutory and constitutional duties. As the boundaries between the executive and the judiciary became murky PILs send a clear message that state officials could get away with violations of constitutional and statutory duties.
    • Lok Adalats dispensed with procedural rules of evidence, civil and criminal procedures in cases involving the poor, ostensibly to cut down backlog of cases and expedite justice to the poor. In effect, it entrenched a system different procedures would be followed for the rich and for the poor. The rich would get a proper judicial hearing following rules of evidence and civil and criminal procedures; and procedural laws would be dispensed with for the poor
    • post-Naxalbari, post-Emergency period saw a ballooning of NGOs, voluntary organisations, and ‘civil society’ organisations accompanied by criminalisation of politics. Nearly forty percent of Indian MPs and MLAs are supposed to have criminal records involving serious crimes
    • The political spaces of the Adivasis and rural poor usurped by criminalisation, was contested by the NGOs and voluntary organisations. Middle India came up with an amazing proposition: all politics was anti-poor, corrupt and criminalised, therefore, we can be a democracy without politics. Of course, as the Adivasis and rural poor, being subalterns, could not speak, it fell on the NGOs or voluntary groups to interpret for them.
    • loosening grip of imperialist reins offers Indian industrialists and financiers an opportunity to expand their operations. The lure of ten percent growth based on many more nuclear plants, mining corporations, industries, special economic zones, and speculative investments promises them a whole new world, if only they would dare to conquer it. The new world of their dreams requires conquering the Adivasis and the rural poor. Where will they go? What of the social contract?
    • Globalisation’ erodes the idea of a nation, however. Indeed it is premised on the idea that nations no longer matter, and if they matter at all, they do so only on the condition that they are homogenised and adapted to the global marketplace. There is no longer an industrial, propertied, elite in India, therefore, that is interested in joining ranks with middle India to renegotiate power with imperialists. Instead all negotiations on power have shifted to the international arena; they will happen henceforth in the UN, the WTO, the G8 summits, and the World Economic Forums. The pesky Adivasis persist with their jal, jangal and jameen. Having accepted the ‘inevitability’ of ‘globalisation’ middle India is left without the conceptual tools to envision a nation, to flesh out self-determination.
    • Indian NGOs and voluntary organisations were awash with funds. More importantly, they were armed with new ideological and conceptual resources developed by international organisations: ideas of ‘empowerment’, ‘democratic development’, ‘good governance’, ‘civil society participation’ and such. In fairness many applied the funds to save the social contract. But the social contract was never about ‘democratic development’, ‘empowerment’ and ‘good governance’. The social contract was about self-determination, equality, redistributive justice, power-sharing and equity, about satyam eva jayate, not transparency.More NGOs and voluntary organisations, more funding for the non-governmental sector, more ‘empowerment’ and ‘good governance’ programmes did not equate to more representation of the Adivasis and rural poor. If anything it was the opposite. The more funding became available for NGOs and voluntary groups, the more the Maoist influence increased
    • NGOs and voluntary groups took up all the issues that the Adivasis and the rural poor raised: the model of development, traditional water systems, land management, forest conservation, corruption, criminalisation of politics. They balked at one central question: the question of political power. This was the only question that the Maoists took up. Middle India wants the Adivasis and the rural poor to trust their word when they say middle India is with the Adivasis and rural poor. How should the Adivasis and rural poor do this when they are reduced to voiceless subalterns, when they are no longer political subjects with agency?
    • Well resourced organisations set out the assumptions underpinning the debate, the terms of the discourse which middle India must follow, not least because they are bombarded with research, publications, high profile media coverage, all based on the assumptions presented by think-tank organisations. The Independent Citizens’ Initiative report on Sadwa Judum by influential citizens, some of them close to the powers that be, echoes a similar ‘sandwich theory’ position. Their position is nowhere comparable to that of Jayaprakash Narayan or V.M Tarkunde. For the latter, their positions against non-violence stemmed from a vision of the nation based on the social contract of the freedom struggle; it included the Maoists as much as the Adivasis. Today, the positions against non-violence are based on a conception of India as an emergent global power that needs to put a human face on ‘globalisation’.
    • The Adivasis and rural poor insist it is a matter of jal, jangal and jameen as they always have. The Maoists, their ideological, political and military shortcomings not withstanding, and there are many of those (see exchanges between Sumanta Banerjee and CPI Maoist EPWs 02/09/09, 19/09/09, 14/11/09), stand unequivocally on the side of the Adivaisis and rural poor, whatever their motives. Middle India insists it is possible to put a human face on ‘globalisation’. To the contrary, the new wave of struggles in Kalinganagar, Singur, Nandigram, Lalgarh challenges them to renegotiate the social contract, a challenge that requires a renewed freedom struggle, forging new alliances, and new conceptions of development and decolonisation. ‘We too fought for freedom’, a Santhal says in a recent film on Lalgarh. Indeed they did. How do we answer that question? By saying the Maoists are bad boys? By saying the Santhals are subalterns that need middle India as their interpreters?
    • The social contract forged during the freedom struggle was premised on a false assumption. It was based on the assumption that it was possible to build a modern liberal democratic, capitalist nation without colonisation. There has never been, and can never be, capitalism without colonies, though its forms can change, and has changed since that fateful day when Columbus set sail looking for the ‘riches of the Indies’. ‘Globalisation’ is forcing middle India to colonise her own people. This is nothing new. It happened under British Rule too. Since the days of Siraj-ud-daula, the various Nawabs and Rajas, a section of the Indian elite has steadfastly stood by imperialists, helped them run Empires, and made a buck for themselves. J.S Mill observed that India was the great experimental laboratory for the Empire. When the fortunes of Empires fluctuate, it forces middle India to take a stand. It is happening today. The nation-state structure and constitutionalism makes it difficult for middle India to rationalise colonisation of her own people. What should middle India do? Launch a new freedom struggle? Forge a new social contract? These are difficult questions by any measure. How much easier to flog the Maoists using imperialist labels like ‘war on terror’ to mask their own inability to re-envision the nation? How much easier to ride the ‘globalisation’ wave on the moral high tides of non-violence? Middle India is wistful. If only the volcanic fault-line on which modern India is founded will go away; if only the Adivasis will put on hold their insistence on jal, jangal, jameen.

    Posted in learnt today, mbbs | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

    Laws for a strong family

    Home rules:

    1. Follow a regular schedule/ritual & inform beforehand if anything falls outside the schedule.
    2. Clean up mess.
    3. Don’t yell/bang. Be kind & respect others views & property.
    4. Have fun by organizing an experience which fulfills other’s need. Hvae a adrressal slot like a dinnertime/family night.
    5. Empower everyone with equitable responsibilities & regarding financial transactions.

    Family traditions:

    1. Celebrate birthdays, festivals, vacations, yearly goals, interests. This boosts social development & emotions of cohesiveness.
    2. Keeping the event predictable & consistent as much as possible increases happiness.
    3. Pre-requisites:
      • energy, so have regular exercise, good diet & sleep.
      • dish out chores based on what others like to do.
      • don’t pack too many to-dos.
      • keep it less rigid.

    Avoid feeling frantic/snappish:

    1. focus more on making the event happy rather than great or appreciative.
    2. perfect details are seldom registered by others.
    3. sometimes mistakes make good memories.
    4. let events unfold & have fun in the moment.

    Avoid nagging:

    • suggest tasks without using words or limit to 1word.
    • instead of insisting on time, ask “will you be able to complete the task before this event [state the need for that time]
    • decline the task rather than breaking a promise.
    • avoid annoyances by having clear assignments of chores based on personal priorities.
    • if you want something done your way, do it yourself.
    • show others the change you want in them by being an example yourself.
    • instead of getting uptight, settle for a partial victory or decide you don’t mind.
    • don’t push others for the impossible without considering their competencies.
    • if you can afford, hire a maid or buy ready-made, rather than compromise happiness by having a conflict.

    Rules to Fight right:

    • don’t assume. gather info of others stance before confronting for an argument.
    • focus on several ideas about what is the most equitable distribution of responsibility regarding the conflict issue.
    • select a neutral spot, decide who will be present & who will speak first, schedule adequate time for everyone to express their resentment.
    • have ground rules for respectful behaviour. ban anger, yelling, swear words, personal attacks, petty attacks, accusations, expressions/movements which show irritation/frustration. Take breaks[20min] when emotions get uptight to let in logic.
    • don’t prove yourself right, but acknowledge other’s view & before responding slow down with “let me understand what it is you exactly wanted to convey”
    • close a difficult conversation mentioning a happy memory or a lovable quality about the other.

    Maneuvering the 3 dead-ends:

    1. persisting argument with no end –
      • put it aside & do something that both the parties like.
      • simultaneously think about what is really bothering, is it a deisre ofr respect or control…
      • after the break, hear to each other’s points. sometimes problems resolve just by being heard.
    2. demands/duties blocking future orientation-
      • share your wishes
      • compare each other’s top 3 goals & reasons.
      • participate together in an activity.
    3. disagreeing agreably-
      • help others to change.
      • speak to common interests.
      • make a compromise which you can live with.

    Dealing with difficult relatives:

    • pre-state the ending time of the get-together [like you have somewhere to go by this time]so that that power to end will facilitate tolerability & lessen stress-provoked outbursts.
    • pre-meditate on how to behave. don’t react in the moment. be light-hearted [calm, friendly; angry, defensive, suspicious] Act the way you want to feel.
    • increase exposure with the person which in-turn raises tolerance for the person.
    • unless your deeply held principles are violated, respect others priorities.
    • all severity that does not increase good or evil should be ignored.
    • others remarks will sting less if you know your values.
    • agree to disagree.
    • show interest with open-ended questions, not specific.
    • its not polite or effective to point out others mistakes or criticise others choices.
    • sometimes you can behave nicely for others happiness, even if you can pitch a battle for your happiness.

    Decluttering tips:

    • get rid of things you have’nt used since more than 6mos.
    • don’t store / repair / organize / categorise.
    • don’t wait choosing recipients.
    • just imagine will it really be that terrible if you get rid of it.
    • cut down on the number of trophies you need for each memorable event.
    • prefer keeping an empty shelf.
    Posted in UNIVERSAL | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    my ideal doctor

    I first saw this doctor in a BBC documentary in the year 2001 [as good as i remember] when i was  fresher medico. In the show the doctor’s words “by cutting down on hospital non-medical infrastructure costs the hospital investment can be lowered and using medical equipment[performing more surgeries in a day] more often health procedures can be provided at lower prices and” cleared my common doubt about why can’t private hospitals charge less.

    That was the day I made him my ideal and since then I’ve been seeing his growth: ISRO  collaboration for providing telemedicine to remote areas, awarded padmashree or something in 2002, other country patients reaching the hospital for affordable care, global social entrepreneur pursuits.

    It is this doctor who impacted my attitude to set towards social entrepreneurship which is my future career pursuit.

    Recent WSJ video about Dr.Devi Prasad Shetty.

    Posted in confession, mbbs | Tagged , | 1 Comment