- “When we said that we were going to call our spacecraft Beagle 2, everybody said, ‘What an inspired idea it was’,” the professor of planetary sciences at the Open University recalls. “When Beagle didn’t call home we had loads and loads of letters saying, ‘Don’t you know the Beagle is the worst dog to let off the lead; they run away, they don’t take any notice of you when you call, they’re after a scent, they only come home when they are hungry, and they show no signs of remorse. It sums it all up’.”
- debate was raging about whether a Martian meteorite contained fossilised life. A newspaper cartoon showed a meteorite being prodded by a scientist, and squealing “ouch”
- I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11year old next door. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong? He replied, ‘It was an ID ten Terror.’ I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’ Eric grinned… ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’ ‘No,’ I replied. ‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’llfigure it out.’ So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
- In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room. A family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.” The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?” The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.”The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the male brain so much more?” The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used.”
- The FBI, DEA and CIA all argue that they are the best law enforcement agency in the world, so to find out once and for all which of them really is they devise a competition. They release a rabbit into a forest, and whichever agency finds it first will be declared the best. The FBI goes first. After two weeks of interviewing plants and animals, the FBI concludes that no rabbit has ever existed. The DEA goes next. After burning down half the forest and defoliating the rest, they also find no rabbit. The CIA goes last, and after a few moments, agents drag out a badly beaten bear, screaming “Ok, Ok! Yes, I’m a rabbit!”
- Have you heard that scientists are no longer using laboratory rats for experiments? They are using trial lawyers instead. Apparently no one ever gets attached to trial lawyers, and there were some things the rats just would not do.
-
Calvin on Economics
