if not excellence, what? (from tom peters presentation)

memories that last a lifetime are invariably about helping others grow.

Leaders exist to serve human dev values. organizations first & foremost offer matchless opportunities for individual growth.

Leadership tool: self knowledge. work on urself. u r how u spend ur time.

Enemy: lousyness. Nothing beats hardwork. sweat the basic details. execution is strategy about politics.

Never relent on victory. Keep moving. Offense rather than avoidance of defeat.

---

Never losse touch. Wander around. Meetings. Showtime: enthusiasm trumps all, best story wins.

Leave no stone unturned. big payoff from small courtesies: obsessively respond&gesture.

nurture to make every contact a memorable experience.

People first &2nd &3rd &4th &…Its always all about legacy.

u become who-u-hangout-with. choose wisely who u spend time with.

Avoid moderation. Standout. brand u, no option. distinct or extinct.

---

Fire,aim. whoever tries the most stuff wins. blame nobody, expect nothing, do something. fail fast demos.

maximise things-gone-right. obsessively listen/ask/measure.

great design differentiates anything everything dramatically. descriptns, systems, checklists.

seek monopoly anywhere everywhere thr outrageaously committing to excellence. WOW! no<100%. /we aint seen nothing yet. best is the only market not crowded.

---

gravitating from providing service to enabling customer success.

women buy,roar,rule.

best insight i had in this year – building a child friendly environment should be visonary soceity’s central theme

• What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland’s School Success – Anu Partanen – National – The Atlantic

  “every child should have exactly the same opportunity to learn, regardless of family background, income, or geographic location. Education has been seen first and foremost not as a way to produce star performers, but as an instrument to even out social inequality.” offer all pupils free school meals, easy access to health care, psychological counseling, and individualized student guidance. to win at that game, a country has to prepare not just some of its population well, but all of its population well, for the new economy. To possess some of the best schools in the world might still not be good enough if there are children being left behind. it is possible to achieve excellence by focusing not on competition, but on cooperation, and not on choice, but on equity.

  tags: academics state strategic insight starred

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

empower vs sly vigilance

my month’s insights – a gift i’m giving myself to lighten up my diwali!!

• Rands In Repose: The End

  Remember, they never remember the beginning. They only remember how it ended. A pure repeat of the high points of the beginning and the middle is a total cop-out. You need to find a different way to say the same thing. The beauty of a good ending is that you can’t find it until you’ve written, spoken, or built a good part of your beginning and middle. For me, that’s the high in building a thing – the moment of clarity when you’re hopelessly lost somewhere in the middle and you suddenly discover the slide, the paragraph, or the design that immediately and simply encompasses everything you’ve just been trying to say. You need to save that discovery for the end. The action items aren’t world changing, but your ending, the reminder that we actually love working here, explains to everyone that there is no crap work when you’re doing what you love.

  tags: presentation starred

• Abraham Verghese: A doctor’s touch | Video on TED.com

  if my patient gave up the quest for the magic doctor, the magic treatment & bagan with me on a course towards wellness, it was because i had earned the right to tell them these things by virtue of the examination. something of importance had transpired in the exchange. rituals are all about transformation. of one individual coming to another & telling them things that they would not tell thier preacher or rabbi and then incredibly on top of that disrobing and allowing touch …and if u shortchange that ritual by not undressing the patient, by listening with ur stethoscope on top of the nightgown, by not doing a complete exam, u have bypassed on the oppurtunity to seal the patient-physician relationship. we seem to have forgotten with the explosion of knowledge we are lulled into inattention forgetting that the ritual is cathartic to physician, necessary for the patient- forgetting that the ritual has meaning & a singular message to convey to the patient : i will always always always be there. i will see u thr this. i will never abandon u. i will be with u thr the end

  tags: starred clinicalmed

• The Last Psychiatrist: How To Draw (This Is Not An Article About How To Draw)

  perception

  tags: books starred

• Love and Negotiation | Psychology Today

  "When people feel valued, they tend to cooperate. When they don’t feel valued, they resist what feels to them like submission. If you want cooperation, you must show value. If you want resistance, all you have to do is devalue, criticize, demand, or otherwise show ill-will. But don’t think about showing value – that can smell of manipulation. Focus instead on feeling value for your partner. This will lower emotional intensity and shrink the subject under negotiation to manageable proportions. Regardless of your stance on any specific behavior, always remember that you are negotiating with someone you love, who is more important to you than whatever behavior request you want to make."

  tags: marriage

• The Last Psychiatrist: The Abusive Boyfriend

  But why so much energy controlling the world? Why not just let things be and see what happens? Is he so afraid things will get worse? No. He’s afraid things will get worse or they will get better. He is afraid of change, any change, not just because the relationship may change but because if it changes then he would have to change. All that matters is keeping the relationship intact. Even if you both end up miserable, better misery and stability with him than the tachycardia of something else, something unknown, something he can’t control or defend against. At any moment there is only one person in the room no matter how many people are in the room, and that one person, you, is lugging around the same man you’ve lived with for years. The abusive boyfriend I’m describing is your unconscious. The unconscious doesn’t care about happiness, or sadness, or gifts, or bullets. It has one single goal, protect the ego, protect status quo. Do not change and you will not die. And all the missed opportunities– maybe I shouldn’t, and isn’t that high? and he probably already has a girlfriend, and I can’t change careers at 44, and 3 months for the first 3/4 and going on ten years for the last fourth, and do I really deserve this?– all of that is maintenance of the status quo, the ego. And when all else fails, it will beat you down with apathy. The men, or women, aren’t lying to you, and you’re not even lying to yourself. You are being lied to, by yourself.

  tags: psychoanalysis writing starred

• The Last Psychiatrist: Osama Bin Laden Has Been Killed

  "Your father is manifest superego, if he tricks you or hurts you enough and you don’t trust him anymore, then you can’t trust anything. So you either find a proxy for a superego– a boyfriend, a religion, political ideology, Dianetics– or you recede into the comfort of narcissism. You surround yourself with image and images, you create narratives that pretend to explain reality but really protect your individuality ("I see what they’re up to, man!") And you rot from the inside out, which is exactly the state of affairs in America. No outside force can touch us, but they don’t need to. They just need to wait it out." Not releasing the photos is getting you in the habit of not expecting photos to be released. Having terrible information mangled by the news media is getting you used to having terrible information mangled by the media. when you repeatedly elect a government that cries wolf, the problem isn’t the government, the problem is you.

  tags: psychoanalysis

• The Last Psychiatrist: When Is It Okay To Rape A Woman?

  false consensus bias, in which one assumes others share the same beliefs as you do. no amount of data or solid evidence will convince– the false consensus bias guy– that he is wrong. That’s because it’s not a belief, it is a maneuver, it is an act to protect the self, an act that they will take as far as they need to. "No, they’re lying, they’re just not willing to admit it." When you hear that– "I speak for others who are too frightened"– run; because if they had a gun, they would speak for you. One of the biggest mistakes we make when arguing with dummies is that we don’t take their own words at face value– we allow them pretend that their initial move was meaningless in comparison to the revisions, like a bank robber who says to the police, "yeah, but I’m giving it back right now." The initial volley is always the most relevant: everything afterwards is defense. How easy is it to empathize? Easy. How easy is it to sympathize? Not so easy. think about how many fantasies and scenarios you’re actively running every day about a million things, and think about how many of those things you’re actually attempting in real life. I know the popsicleogists will say you’re running the scenarios to make yourself feel better, but they are what’s holding you back. Those thoughts, in the absence of any action, have defined you. Just because no one else can see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

  tags: psychoanalysis

• Ben Casnocha: The Blog: Book Review: Loyalty by Eric Felten

  "Try not to renounce your old friends except when they exhibit an excess of wickedness." An excess of wickedness was Aristotle’s trigger for disloyalty. Or as Sir Walter Scott said, "I like a highland friend who will stand by me not only when I am in the right, but when I am little in the wrong." A lot in the wrong is different; too much loyalty and soon we’re talking about a vice, not a virtue.If we’re not willing to untangle loyalty conflicts as they arise, we give up on loyalty altogether, and life becomes impossible.

  tags: attitude loyalty starred

• Rands In Repose: You Are Underestimating the Future

  "You are underestimating the future. You are fretting about the now; worrying about little things that don’t matter. You are wasting precious energy obsessing over irrelevant details. You don’t believe that a better future is out there and can be built, that it can exceed people’s expectations, because you’re spending so much time considering the truth of the present and the seemingly important lessons of the past." -steve jobs

  tags: attitude career starred

• Quotes From Atlas Shrugged « Scott H Young

  Money is the material shape of the principle that men who deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?The man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it. when we’ll see men dying of starvation around us, your heart won’t be of any earthly use to them.

  tags: books

• 6 So-Called Rules for the Badass Creative Woman | Justine Musk

  Take your work – and yourself – seriously enough to create a proper environment for it. Find or CREATE A WORKSPACE – whether it’s a studio or a basement or a corner of the kitchen – that makes you feel safe. Find a few personal talismans or other items that connect you to your playful side – and make you feel good about who you are and what you do. Have a strict "NO ASSHOLES" policy. Your body can tell the difference between constructive criticism (even if we don’t want to hear it) and the kind of bullshit that’s intended to tear you down, knock you off-balance, or keep you in your placeToxic people are crazy-making people, and even if you have to deal with them in other areas of your life, keep them out of your physical and mental creative space. if something starts out perfect, without going through the fail-forward-faster learning process, it’s most likely derivative and uninteresting. "What is the uncertainty you are dealing with?" Get it out there. Let’s try REFRAMING the situation so it works for you, not against you. when you don’t tell your story, someone else tells it for you, or distorts you in a way that serves their own. (What is one of the first things that a tyrant takes away? Freedom of expression.) When you OWN YOUR STORIES, you know who you are. You recognize where you end and someone else begins: the things in yourself that you won’t give up for anyone, and the things in someone else that you won’t tolerate for any reason.

  tags: identity starred writing

• Why Do Some People Learn Faster? | Wired Science | Wired.com

  "a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." Bohr’s quip summarizes one of the essential lessons of learning, which is that people learn how to get it right by getting it wrong again and again. Education isn’t magic. Education is the wisdom wrung from failure. unless we experience the unpleasant symptoms of being wrong the mind will never revise its models. We’ll keep on making the same mistakes, forsaking self-improvement for the sake of self-confidence.

  tags: learning

• 18. Crazy in Love: When Is It More than Heartbreak? | Psychology Today

  ""infatuation," when the passion is pumping but in the absence of any intimacy or commitment." "empty love," when a couple is high in commitment, but lacks any intimacy and passion high intimacy and passion is on the road to "romantic love." limerence =involuntary and incessant state of "compulsory longing for another person." hormone levels eventually return to normal after six to twenty-four months of romantic love. However, those who suffer from Limerence are permanently trapped in this stage of euphoria and their cognitions and behaviors become obsessive and compulsive. usually individuals suffer Limerence for three to five years.

  tags: marriage

• Ben Casnocha: The Blog: Admiring Excellence

  "consciously admiring and recognizing the excellence of someone is the first step to becoming a master yourself. If the key to mastery of any skill is deconstructing what current masters did to get to where they are, then step one is knowing when you’re around professionals–and letting yourself admire them!"

  tags: strategic learning

• Oh Those Fabulous James Boys!

  not to question and to have no opinion was to shirk not only one’s intellectual duty but one’s moral responsibilities. personality emerges out of the family constellation. Individual identity is forged not in isolation but in the context of relationships. The Freudians say that family relationships are the template for how you are going to act with everyone else later on. sometimes your bonded sibling knows more about you than you do. One of the big secrets of the brothers’ success was that they were always ready to give the most candid and unvarnished opinion of the other’s work.

  tags: books identity sibling

  • personality emerges out of the family constellation. Individual identity is forged not in isolation but in the context of relationships. The Freudians say that family relationships are the template for how you are going to act with everyone else later on.

  • birth order is no guarantee that the oldest always comes out on top.

• The Sibling Effect — By Jeffrey Kluger — Book Review – NYTimes.com

  "childhood is a fascinating mix of innocence and cruelty, brilliant intelligence and painful ignorance, expanded consciousness and narrow experience."

  tags: writing sibling

• how to flow with the go to get what you want + give the world what it needs | Justine Musk

  You find your Way by sorting out what exactly is within your control and what is not, and then finding the particular thoughts and actions…that best fit what is beyond your control…You do what you can, not what you want. Your aim, in the beginning, isn’t to present to the world a perfect and perfectly completed Thing (that the world may not want in the first place), but to test the assumptions your Thing depends on to find out what is true, what works – and what doesn’t.Build-Measure-Learn: you build the minimum viable version of whatever it is that you’re working on, show it to people, find ways to measure reaction and impact, and learn, learn, learn. You then apply that learning to the next version of your Thing.you are not asking people what they think they want. People are generally resistant to change and don’t know what they want until they have it — and then wonder how they lived without it in the first place. you’re studying the conversation between you and your audience. Change doesn’t happen with one individual, but in the spaces, the interactions between them.You search out those spaces where your strengths and desires naturally intersect with that conversation, instead of falling beyond it where no one is listening. you stay closely connected to that world through observation, experimentation and insight.you focus on the journey: what you learn, how it feels and how it changes you. You let your Vision arise from that.Journey first, destination second.

  tags: writing attitude starred strategic

• Being the Better Person Will Teach People To Treat You Like Crap

  "When someone does something that bothers you, it’s important to take that immediate opportunity to tell them. you do have to confront the situation or risk encouraging the bad behavior you’re seeking to prevent."

  tags: attitude communication

• James Bovard: My Summer Job Road to Perdition – WSJ.com

  "The government has always been radically incompetent at imparting job skills or good work habits. Unfortunately, as long as politicians can profit from handing out jobs and paychecks, the waste and character damage will continue."

  tags: writing

• Marty Nemko: Favorite Communication Tips

  smile;eyecontact; put urself in the shoes of the listener; utter<45secs; anecdotes;tact;bold; ask for just a a small piece; "first thing a man will do for his ideals is lie"; praise their insecurities; script leaches chemistry.

  tags: communication

• Marty Nemko: Becoming an Effective and Beloved Boss

  selection process should focus on simulations. get the right people on the bus & wrong people off before figuring out where to drive it. present yourself – strategy,ethical,focus on solutions,improving company not aggrandizing yourself. restructure ur job to ur strengths. those that are insufficiently productive – move them to where they’ll do least harm. treat ur supervisees not equally, but fairly. one size does’nt fit all. some take lots of candid feedback, others would shutdown. be only mildly nice. for positive reinforcement orelse will be shrugged off as business-as-usual. get things done than insisting on getting credit. candor is key when its an imp problem. run crisp meetings & serve food. strat on time, keep to the agenda & time-limit. embrace & win at office politics.

  tags: leader starred

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Project managing

• FNX Studios | Top 10 Reasons Why Darth Vader was an Amazing Project Manager

  tags: strategic attitude leader

  1. prioritized brutally -pursue priorities according to their strategic value. No emotional attachments, no personal agendas…just the right thing to do to preserve the Imperium, and see his project through to successful completion. if you can’t prioritize, you won’t get anything done, let alone anything done well.
  2. made decisions based on objective data, not whims -consistently evaluated the performance of his team, and made changes to fix problems when the team didn’t perform. Sure, there may have been some fear and terror, but put all that aside. The inclination to objectively evaluate the performance of your team and not accept substandard performance is an important one.
  3. importance of commitments, and more importantly, the significance of fulfilling them
  4. maintain objectivity, which means they need to give themselves the time and space to regain perspective.
  5. managed risk and expectations…pre-emptively -made a plan to mitigate the risk stat! Additionally, you saw him having conversations with team members all over the place making sure they understood clearly what his expectations were with regards to the achievement of goals.
  6. persuasive -getting people to cooperate (whether through fear, obligation, or The Force!)
  7. picked a methodology and stuck with it…until it didn’t work -In keeping with the commitment to objectivity in performance, Vader picked his methodology. saw that his previous methods of fear and intimidation didn’t seem to work with Luke, or any of the rebels any longer. Boom! Change of tactics to get the job done.
  8. optimistic enough to push through tough challenges and look for solutions, however  improbable their success.
  9. It is never too late to do the right thing -reflect on their choices, and re-make the choices they don’t feel good about.
  10. never afraid of getting his hands dirty -never asked anyone to do anything that he wasn’t willing to do himself, and he made sure he had a clear understanding and appreciation for the hard things that his team had to execute on.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

a flickr quotation

“I existed long before you knew me, I’ve always been someone.”

Those words have haunted me since they floated through my brain at the age of 15, as an argument against those who thought they knew me enough to judge me.

To this day I still know with an absolute sense, what those words meant to me. This piece is about those words, those syllables, about their meaning, about breaking them down to create something stronger, something beyond the scope of others.

I burnt my words because it was time for a change; it was time to burn the shackles and rise again, to rise above, the judgments of other people.

I’ve spent far too long thinking that I needed the validation of smaller insignificant people to truly exist, but that part of me is over.

I burnt my words because they are a show of weakness; they are a cry for acceptance, and I see now that they are pointless.

I am not the type of girl who will every be accepted, I’m too strong for that.

I have risen from the ashes of myself; my words, and in time will find new syllables to describe the anthem of my heart and the creeds within my head.”

Seduction – i finally find it a pious & generous act, away from narcissism, but its still dodgy with flirtation & exploitation

“The difference between being conquered and being seduced is: everybody wants to be seduced.”  -Voltaire.

Because the key to seduction involves getting inside the other person’s head, recognizing what he or she wants, and then giving it to them without making them feel like they’re expected to give something back in return. (As soon as someone feels unduly pressured or chased, or senses an agenda, it’s over.)

It’s not about the sexy black dress or the flashy car: those are props.

Most people suck at seduction because most people suck at good listening. When you know how to tune into the other person, to make them feel like the object of your authentic and focused attention, you don’t need the perfect breasts or the big stock options (although they probably don’t hurt)

It’s a connection made through recognition of a need, and providing a solution to that need, and it leaves both people feeling good about the exchange (ie: that neither was manipulated or taken advantage of). Which inspires trust. Which leads you (if you want) into deeper relationship. There’s no pressure, because there’s no desperation; people know they have other options. There’s nothing slick or cheesy or fake, because both parties honor and respect each other.

If you’re authentic from the beginning about who you are and what you have to give, it means that you’ve found the right audience (or you’ve allowed the right audience to find you). And although we need solitude in which to dream and reflect and synthesize and Do the Work, we also need relationship and connection, those intersections with each other, to spark creative thinking in the first place (and provide constructive feedback).

In other words, the artist needs a right audience as much as the right audience needs her. Good marketing is the road that enables them to find each other. Good marketing is about authenticity, connection, and relationship (whether that relationship lasts for five hours or five years).

Blogging might indeed be a form of marketing — but marketing is a form of seduction — and seduction itself is an art.

what attitude kept me running for the last exams

1. stereotype of someone who excels at what you’re attempting – ophth profs/ love in something – rey’s family communication, nathani couple
2. upholding something  – quickly sublimate irritations, conc on the win
3. mom & dad caring about my studies
4. all accessory works under auto-pilot
5. the way i studied in school with the right attitude & mood – voracious, brisk, continuos recurring
6. belittle – the syllabus looks smaller & as manageable parts
7. optimism – feeling high, looking down the problem
8. literary  interest – reading whole sentences in textbook
9. high exertive energy – completing anwers in regular time chunks, feeling of want to remember + recall now itself without postponing
10. never read when tired + feel like pumping up mood by forgeting yourself & sleep

Decision making & willpower

• Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue? – NYTimes.com

  “Good decision making is not a trait of the person, in the sense that it’s always there,” Baumeister says. “It’s a state that fluctuates.”

• people with the best self-control are the ones who structure their lives so as to conserve willpower. They don’t schedule endless back-to-back meetings. They avoid temptations like all-you-can-eat buffets, and they establish habits that eliminate the mental effort of making choices. Instead of deciding every morning whether or not to force themselves to exercise, they set up regular appointments to work out with a friend. Instead of counting on willpower to remain robust all day, they conserve it so that it’s available for emergencies and important decisions.

• “The best decision makers,” Baumeister says, “are the ones who know when not to trust themselves.”

  tags: willpower

  • One shortcut is to become reckless: to act impulsively instead of expending the energy to first think through the consequences. (Sure, tweet that photo! What could go wrong?) The other shortcut is the ultimate energy saver: do nothing. Instead of agonizing over decisions, avoid any choice. Ducking a decision often creates bigger problems in the long run, but for the moment, it eases the mental strain. You start to resist any change, any potentially risky move

  • When people fended off the temptation to scarf down M&M’s or freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies, they were then less able to resist other temptations. When they forced themselves to remain stoic during a tearjerker movie, afterward they gave up more quickly on lab tasks requiring self-discipline, like working on a geometry puzzle or squeezing a hand-grip exerciser.

  • Part of the resistance against making decisions comes from our fear of giving up options.

  • Because their financial situation forces them to make so many trade-offs, they have less willpower to devote to school, work and other activities that might get them into the middle class.

  • administering glucose completely reversed the brain changes wrought by depletion

  • Your brain does not stop working when glucose is low. It stops doing some things and starts doing others. It responds more strongly to immediate rewards and pays less attention to long-term prospects.

  • The mere expectation of having to exert self-control makes people hunger for sweets.

  • When faced with a new desire that produced some I-want-to-but-I-really-shouldn’t sort of inner conflict, they gave in more readily if they had already fended off earlier temptations, particularly if the new temptation came soon after a previously reported one.

  • frustrations seem more irritating than usual. Impulses to eat, drink, spend and say stupid things feel more powerful

  • In making decisions, they take illogical shortcuts and tend to favor short-term gains and delayed costs. Like the depleted parole judges, they become inclined to take the safer, easier option even when that option hurts someone else.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Deep procrastination

i joined my mbbs in 2000dec, but havent completed the undergrad till now. i was putting off studies at times during my school days but managed to score top marks. then in my 10+2 i wouldn’t study until its 1 or 2 days before the exam, but still managed to get second best marks. now i do in-depth study perfectly but have lost all energy to revise what i’ve studied & i’ve terrible fear to approaching exams & i don’t have anyone to ask for help & i just freak out all alone in my room. this has been since a decade &  i thought i’m an incompetent. this article by cal newport [study hacks blog] explains something about my problem. i should think over:

some of the reasons for student procrastination :

1. fear of both success & failure
2. perfectionism
3. we think our work is of low quality
4. your brain doesn’t buy your plan [our plan is usually rife with distraction, pseudowork, passive review or in short vague & haphazard] [and the rejection feels like lack of motivation]
   

deep procrastination, though scary, represents that key transition where the momentum of “this is what you need to do” -begins to wane, leaving you to discover a new source of propulsion -more durable, more personal.

it’s not a character flaw but instead a finely tuned evolutionary adaptation of complex planning [conceive future steps & evaluate whether they are good idea].

it s not your enemy. it’s instead a constructive source of criticism – telling us that although it likes our goals , we need to put a little bit more thought into how we’re going to get there. a prompt you need to get your internal shop in order.

you shouldnt lament , but instead listen to it. treat it as a sign that your skills as a student need more work.

the solution is not muster the courage to blindly charge ahead, but to instead accept what our brain is telling us : our plans need moe work invested before they’re ready.

its unlikely that you’ll unearth a burning life mission hidden conveniently just below the surface of your psyche. what you seek is more fundamental : an acceptance that doing things well is hard & always will be, and that you need to spend more time than you thought was necessary deciding which such hard things gain rights to your attention.

deep procrastination is rejection of your grand narrative for why you’re at college & how it will help you live a good life. we delay because we don’t see a convincing plan behind our aspiration. you don’t have a believable plan for succeeding at what you’re trying to do.

deep procrastination is rejection of an ambiguous abstract answer to the key Q of why you’re going through the mental strain. so form a more concrete personal answer:

1. devise a working hypothesis to what makes a good life good
2. decide how your experience at college can best be leveraged to support your vision of good life
3. identify specific tactics that will help you succeed in this leveraging.

………..one of the most effective ways to sidestep procrastination is to find the story of someone who personifies what you want to accomplish, figure out how they accomplished what they did, then base your process on their approach.

The case method helps avoid this rejection by building this required trust. When you extract a plan from a story that generates deep aspirational longings, you’re deploying a powerful recruiting tool to get your brain — especially the long ago evolved portions that respond well to such emotion — on board with your plan. The result: no procrastination.

When we face a big goal in our lives, we’re attracted to convenient strategies — something that fits our personality and schedule, and that wraps up in a nice internally consistent logical bow. But we have no reason to believe these easy strategies will work particularly well, which makes them susceptible to evolutionary procrastination.

The case method, by contrast, is difficult and can produce strategies that are less convenient. But you can also trust that the strategies it generates will probably work — making them much less susceptible to procrastination.

In other words, if there’s something in your life that’s really important that you accomplish: don’t just dive in. Start by finding someone who has already made it happen then put in the time to figure out exactly what they did right.

Integrity to conscience in the moment of choice

Like tiny mountain rivulets that come together to create a mighty river, our decisions join together to move us with increasing force toward our final destiny. overtime, our choices become habits and these habits affect our time and quality of our lives.

Of all the factors that influence us in the moment of choice, living by conscience is the factor that will always point to true north, so listening to it unerringly leads to quality of life results.

How to cultivate it:

1. Be aware of how you typically respond to analyse factors acting upon you :
   • urgency, pressure, instant gratification
   • popular, pleasing, charm
   • expectations of our own & others
   • values in the short-run & long-run
   • scripting, pain avoidance
   • self-awareness , conscience
   • needs & wants
2. Keep track of the times you pause to use our 3 human endowments in the space between stimulus & response:
   • ask our conscience – not out of curiosity but out of committed intent to act based on wisdom. it is the manifestation that our desire to do the right thing is greater and affirms that we have self-awareness, independent will, and creative imagination. we learn to reason things but not to get lost in reason. wisdom is learning all we can, but having the humility to realize that we don’t know it all. as we face challenges of the day, we need to create  a key question that will draw us immediately into the focus of conscience :
     • what principles apply
     • what is the right activity
     • is it in my centre of influence or focus
     • is there a third alternative solution or synergy
     • does it increase my personal integrity account or reputation
   • listen without excuse – act in harmony with the first whisper of conscience to feel peaceful. do not build walls of rationalization or justification which others may sense our incongruence and respond in kind -with the very negative behaviour that becomes the excuse of our own – then communication becomes superficial, strained, quickly escalating to blaming and accusing in the effort to validate behaviour. we exhaust ourselves far more from tension, pressured, feeling hassled, caught in dilemmas and consequences of internal disharmony than from hard unremitting work. as long as we have questions/doubts / struggle we can’t account for results. so we spend time wallowing in lies we’ve created to avoid the simple actions that would put us in harmony with the laws that govern quality life. the key to integrity is to simply stop playing the game.
   • act with courage – stop transmitting negative tendencies choose to act based on principles of human dignity and respect. it takes courage to realise that you are greater than your moods and thoughts and that you can control them.

That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not because the nature of the thing has changed, but that our ability to do has increased.

Physical dimension	exercising, right foods, adequate rest, avoiding addictions, regular health check-ups
Mental dimension	zoom-out for principle centered perspective and be aware of environmental influences over our decisions about the way we spend our time.
Spiritual dimension	meditation, prayer, altruism, wisdom literature, reviewing personal mission statement - all nurture big picture context and contribution focus of principles which gives us passion and power to sub-ordinate less imp to most imp.
Social dimension	keep the heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. your opinion of the world is also a confession of character. our relationships with others are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. if we don’t have a sense of mission and principles to measure ourselves against, we benchmark against other people instead of our own potential. we’re into comparative thinking and win-lose mentality. we become self-centered and autobiographical. we impose our motives on others’ actions. we see their strengths and weaknesses in terms of how they affect us and empower their weaknesses to control us.

I deleted my twitter account because i don’t have any friends

Ambika

@Ambioct India

medstud, athiest, loves reading fo intellect/insights/rationality/truth &’ve bouts of writing compulsion;i admire Dr.DPShetty’s medicare concept

http://www.diigo.com/profile/ambioct

how should i express how i feel towards my parents

what is this feeling called? irritation, powerless, sidestepped, incompetent … better a slang but could’nt find one

to get rid of this what should i do? utter some quick fix emotions anointing statements like: “i have uttered the name of god, how can i abhor anyone anymore” “stay with forbearance and observe the game of power and chuckle to yourself for saving time for your nerdy activities”
or may be a permanent apt solution are these following 2 chapters from Stephen Covey’s first things first book:

The Interdependent reality:

Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.

• our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.
• our accomplishments, fulfilment of our fundamental needs and capacities are interdependent.
• fast paced independent paradigm has created a massive imbalance. in order to get more golden eggs, we are killing the very goose that produces them. we are so busy consuming that we don’t take care of our capacity to produce.
• when choices come out of reactivity, scripting, urgency response, it impacts time and quality of life for families, organizations, society as a whole. quality takes on the dimensions of the ‘flavour of the month’ instead of creating deep sustained quality change and people become cynical about the effort.
• if we are duplicitous or dishonest in any role, it affects every role in our lives. trustworthiness creates flexibility and emotional reserve in relationships. you might even mess up occasionally, but it doesn’t ruin your relationship. you have the reserves to draw on people will trust your basic intent. they know what you are inside.
• interdependence redefines importance:
  • get the job done efficiently or take the time to empower your people, both now and in the future.
  • supervise and control others or release the tremendous creative potential in others so they can govern themselves.
  • schedule your time to efficiently solve problems or take time to clarify conflicting expectations up front.
  • spend time trying to solve problems or build relationships to make effective communication possible.
• Transformational interaction – something new is being created and neither party is controlling it. neither could have anticipated or predicted it. it’s people interacting in a state of release rather than control. you have to leave the safe haven of superior control and become vulnerable. you have to exercise faith in principles of contribution, synergy and creativity at a higher level. and you’re not sure what’s going to happen. life then becomes a real adventure. you are not sure what’s around the next bend. you are not sure how the other person will respond. you are at risk. this is why it takes such courage. you have to go way outside your present comfort zone, way outside your past experience or present mentors. there may be quite a few models out there that inspire you, that have done it before and encourage you on. but you still have to take that first step. you still have to let go and “fall backward”.
• the 4 endowments in interdependence:
  1. Self-awareness : because we have a changeless core we can be willing to be changed. we can stop seeing people as a reflection of ourselves, looking at everything they do in terms of how it affects our time and our world. we can stop seeing them merely as resources to get done what we want to get done. we can progress beyond the narcissistic stage and be willing to be influenced. we can have the humility, respect for others. we can see their weaknesses as opportunities to help, to love, to make a difference.
  2. because we understand conscience, we can know what it is to be part of the collective conscience.we value working together to discover true north, having the humility to realize that our own understanding may be limited by our scripting and that others may have insight and experience we don’t have.
  3. through our independent will we can work to achieve interdependent will. we can agree to work together in win-win ways to accomplish worthwhile purposes. we can create structures and systems that support interdependent effort to accomplish common purposes that benefit family or organization or society as a whole.
  4. we can contribute our own creative imagination to help unleash tremendous creative potential in others and be open and ready to be surprised by the synergistic results. we can create third alt solutions that are far more creative, more appropriate, more workable, more rewarding than any solution we can ever come up with on our own.

First things first together:

Difference is the beginning of synergy.

• Creating win-win stewardship agreements: instead of being dumped on, people are involved, both parties are accomplishing things of shared importance. come to an agreement on each of these 5 elements:
  1. specify desired results based on shared vision and also methods to enhance the ability to produce desired results in the future. this is a test of abundance mentality, the process of constantly going for third alt solutions and synergy, not compromise. [focussing on contributions, addressing all 4 needs, understanding what constitutes a win for all stakeholders]
  2. set guidelines for principles that will be used and things not to do. an agreement might contain different levels of initiative for different functions. following are the 6 levels of initiatives which are matched with the capability and trust of the individual: wait until told, ask, recommend, act and report immediately, act and report periodically, act on own.
  3. identify not only the resources available [such as training and info systems or the participants themselves] but also how to access them, how to work with others who use the same resources, and what the limits are.
  4. individual evaluates himself or herself, not others for competing, against the desired results specified in the agreement. [360 degree feedback from stakeholders is helpful]
  5. determine the natural negative and positive consequences if we do or do not achieve the desired results and also logical consequences like compensation, opportunities for advancement, additional opportunities for training and development, enlarged or diminished stewardships or discipline.
• But what if we don’t agree: frustration is essentially a function of expectation. clarifying interdependent expectations up front does a great deal to contribute to quality of life. don’t tiptoe around the issues and live with negative consequences of unresolved issues and unexpressed feelings. instead, use your human endowments to address and synergistically resolve the difference:
  1. commit to interact until you can come up with a solution you both feel good about
  2. listen to understand, not reply, until you can express the other person’s point of view better than he or she can. then encourage the other person to do the same to you.
  3. after feeling thoroughly understood, look at the problem together and identify issues that need to be resolved.
  4. find out what results would constitute a win for the other person and a win for you.
  5. synergise, NOT compromise, to discover creative third alt solutions
• the difference: span of control is less in low trust culture and we spend an incredible amount of time dealing with symptoms of low trust, and learning how to deal with the symptoms faster is not going to make a qualitative difference. how much time is spent sorting out the myriad of communication problems that grow out of low trust? and what about the time and opportunity cost when people are so busy micromanaging and taking care of immediate crises that they don’t invest in high-leverage Q2 planning, prevention and empowerment activities that make the significant difference?
  1. snoopervision in low trust culture – control, monitor, hover over, check up.
     supervision in a high trust culture – people supervise themselves according to the agreement. criteria are clear, consequences are set. there’s common understanding of what’s expected. leader or parent becomes a source of help – a cheerleader, advisor, counsellor, coach – someone to remove the oil spills and then get out of the way.
  2. evaluation in low trust culture is competitive – you’re into forced ranking, external performance evaluation, judgement.
     in a high trust culture – judgement goes into performance agreement before the fact instead of after the fact. people judge themselves. their evaluation is not just a function of measurement, but also of discernment “numbers are looking good, but i feel a concern for this particular area…”. People are much more ‘aware’ of the issues that affect their performance and success.
  3. motivation in a low trust culture – carrot and stick jackass theory.
     in a high trust culture – internal motivation. fuelled by the fire within. driven by a sense of passion about fulfilling a shared vision that’s also a co-mission, a synergy between their own mission and the mission of the family or organization.
  4. structure and systems in a low trust culture – filled with bureaucracy, excessive rules and regulations, restrictive, closed systems. in the fear of some loose cannon, procedures are set up that everyone has to accommodate. level of initiative is low, basically “do what you’re told”. structures are pyramidal, hierarchical. info systems are short-term. quarterly bottom-line tends to drive the mentality in the culture.
     in a high trust culture, structures and systems are aligned to create empowerment, to liberate people’s energy and creativity towards agreed upon purposes within the guidelines of shared values. there’s less bureaucracy and more involvement.

Empowerment from the inside out:

Anytime we think the problem is ‘out there’ that thought is the problem. we disempower ourselves. we give away the space that allows us to choose a constructive response. we empower circumstances and others’ weaknesses to control us. we put our energy into our circle of concern.

• principle centered leadership is the personal empowerment focussing our energy in our circle of influence. it’s not blaming or accusing; it’s acting with integrity to create the environment in which we and others can develop character, competence and synergy. and as we exercise principle centered leadership our circle of influence grows.
• 3 specific things we can do in any circle of influence to work in Q2 to empower ourselves and help transform our environment:
  1. cultivate the conditions of empowerment – empowerment cant be installed. it is a Q2 investment. when we don’t recognize or know how to solve the chronic problems in families, groups or organizations, we spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with crises in Q1&3 and even our Q2 work is on the symptom level ; don’t hack at the leaves, work at the root:
     1. ask following for individual trustworthiness while setting weekly goals:
        1. what knowledge or skills do i need to do the job better and to interact more effectively with people.
        2. am i exercising courage to move things ahead and deal with the issues
        3. am i being considerate and sensitive to others needs
        4. am i constantly looking for 3rd alt solutions
        5. am i listening to my conscience and acting in a way that’s in alignment with my mission and true north
        6. ask following for collective trustworthiness :
           1. can i trust the company to back up their commitments
           2. can i trust the team to perform when needed
           3. can and do family members support each other
     2. trust is the natural outgrowth of trustworthiness. it is the glue that holds everything together. it creates the environment in which all of the other elements can flourish and is an on going process – trust increases even more.
     3. ask following to nurture stewardship agreements while setting weekly goals:
        1. do i have meaningful agreement in each of my roles
        2. are there any agreements that need to be strengthened, modified or taken to a higher level
        3. am i acting with integrity to carry out the agreements I’ve made
     4. self-directing individuals and teams : in a high trust culture, agreement supervises and we can build this capacity in others not by supervising but by holding accountable for results and being a source of help to them in achieving those results. ask following while setting weekly goals:
        1. do i typically wait until I’m told to do things i already know ought to be done
        2. do i allow others the freedom to use those methods that work best for them, regardless of my personal preference, as long as they accomplish agreed upon results
        3. do i give others space while they work, or am i constantly hovering over and checking up
     5. aligned structures and systems: ask:
        1. are there any structures that are getting in the way of the desired results
        2. are there any structures that could be created to better facilitate the accomplishment of desired results
        3. what is the best method i could use, within my circle of influence, to create or change these systems
        4. how i can work synergistically with others to create change
        5. what personal structures do i have that i could improve
     6. self-accountability against agreement: ask
        1. build specific criteria into the agreement, standard against which we can measure our own performance
        2. exercise discernment, depending less on external factors
        3. humble request for feedback from others
  2. feast on the lunch of champions – regularly seek 360degree feedback. but without vision we are just responding to what others value. it takes wisdom to appropriately act on it. and we aren’t governed by feedback but by principles and purposes we have built into our mission statement. feedback should be given against performance and effectiveness criteria, then people will go inside and work on their character if that’s what it takes to achieve the desired results. weekly organising encourages leadership with vision and perspective. daily planning increases the need for management because so much time is spent prioritizing crises.
  3. become a leader – leader helps build employees, since they realize that the company is only as strong as the intelligence, judgement and character of their employees.  hold people accountable for results, not methods. ‘building people through the accomplishment of tasks’ means to get tasks done with greater creativity, synergy and effectiveness… and in the process you build the capacity to do more in the future as well.
• your organization’s culture is the one competitive advantage that cannot be duplicated. technology can be copied, info can be acquired, capital can be bought. but the ability of your organization to collaborate effectively, to work in Q2, to put first things first, cannot be bought, transferred or installed. a high trust empowered culture is always home-grown. a quality culture must be nourished overtime. only by acting in harmony with correct principles, exercising patience, humility and courage, and working within your circle of influence can you transform yourself and positively influence your organization. you can only create empowerment from the inside out.

my worksheet

MISSION:	triumph from practicability of principles, not from charm security from implementing integrity to conscience, not emotions
ROLES 1: Evolve	LONG TERM GOALS: Spiritual -Abundance mentality: assured over fiery faith in the universal spirit [rkmath.org]. each day the happy man gets done the hardest thing. Mental -Functional communication: scan Greader/books even in time crunch for blogging ideas/insights. Physical -Self-control: autopilot over routine chores. turn inward into work to unfold divinity. just be the master observer of the game of power. we’re defined by how we handle this reality. Social -Righteous community: not be afraid of expressig our individuality. courage in avoiding negative people [Lokayutha,rti].
ROLE 2: Medico: freework – enthuse over learning	SHORT TERM GOALS: QECs, doodles, MCQs collect illustrations for animation case studies, journals, med bestsellers, seminars HEURISTICS: see yourself as a follow through person clarify what is the next ripe topic. get interested in imp topics. accept discomfort. work backwards demanding over results. work the way it benefits most per min. aim to complete syllabus with ruthless modifications of assumptions. divide the task into baby steps. daily hard focus, no deep sleep & never quit sleep. each day the happy man gets done the hardest thing. do the fun way. cover all S&VS in an order using QECs or PEGs. doodles work in time crunch. revise repeatedly even after finishing. relate with a character concerned with the subject to rid aversion. not trying ensures you fail. always produce, rest is a myth. use sponge time. do the hardet thing. do the one you fear. do the one with longterm significance. now! there is no ideal future & peace is overrated. stay assured over the work done. haste makes waste. study so vociferously that it’ll drive away demons. good order will one day outcast harrowing people. stay focussed. start with the a low risk action. lose illusions & desperacy to be liked. don’t look to anyone. don’t forget your mistakes. emotions bluff you into twisted reality. refuse to give anthing more than it’s worth. start & finish early. do more than required because you are not its slave but a freeman. discontent that works gets what it wants. hatred is delayed anger, anger is inflicting others faults onto ourselves. envy is ignorance. imitation is suicide. when you are good to others, you’re best to yourself. you’ll pass this way only once, so shower all your kindness.
ROLE 3: Adult: autonomity – make & keep promises to build confidence	SHORT TERM GOALS: shopping
EVALUATE:	what blocked or empowered me what truth i failed to apply, what were its effects how much time did i spend in Q1234 are my reasons & capacities aligned with my objectives

MISSION:	triumph from practicability of principles, not from charm security from implementing integrity to conscience	PERHAPS LIST	SYNERGY	RENEWAL	PREPARATION TIME	WEEK’s OBJECTIVES:
ROLES 1: Evolve	LONG TERM GOALS: Spiritual -Abundance mentality: assured over fiery faith in the universal spirit [rkmath.org]. each day the happy man gets done the hardest thing. Mental -Functional communication: scan Greader/books even in time crunch for blogging ideas/insights. Physical -Self-control: autopilot over routine chores. turn inward into work to unfold divinity. just be the master observer of the game of power. we’re defined by how we handle this reality. Social -Righteous community: not be afraid of expressig our individuality. courage in avoiding negative people [Lokayutha,rti].
ROLE 2: Medico: freework – enthuse over learning	SHORT TERM GOALS: QECs, doodles, MCQs collect illustrations for animation case studies, journals, med bestsellers, seminars HEURISTICS: see yourself as a follow through person clarify what is the next ripe topic. get interested in imp topics. accept discomfort. work backwards demanding over results. work the way it benefits most per min. aim to complete syllabus with ruthless modifications of assumptions. divide the task into baby steps. daily hard focus, no deep sleep & never quit sleep. each day the happy man gets done the hardest thing. do the fun way. cover all S&VS in an order using QECs or PEGs. doodles work in time crunch. revise repeatedly even after finishing. relate with a character concerned with the subject to rid aversion. not trying ensures you fail. always produce, rest is a myth. use sponge time. do the hardet thing. do the one you fear. do the one with longterm significance. now! there is no ideal future & peace is overrated. stay assured over the work done. haste makes waste. study so vociferously that it’ll drive away demons. good order will one day outcast harrowing people. stay focussed. start with the a low risk action. lose illusions & desperacy to be liked. don’t look to anyone. don’t forget your mistakes. emotions bluff you into twisted reality. refuse to give anthing more than it’s worth. start & finish early. do more than required because you are not its slave but a freeman. discontent that works gets what it wants. hatred is delayed anger, anger is inflicting others faults onto ourselves. envy is ignorance. imitation is suicide. when you are good to others, you’re best to yourself. you’ll pass this way only once, so shower all your kindness.
ROLE 3: Adult: autonomity – make & keep promises to build confidence	SHORT TERM GOALS: shopping
EVALUATE:	what blocked or empowered me what truth i failed to apply, what were its effects how much time did i spend in Q1234 are my reasons & capacities aligned with my objectives

Drive

1. Hart starts down the road to being a playwright when he discovers that he is able to win the respect of street kids by telling them about the books he’s been reading.
2. Only through a remarkable persistence (and not a little luck) was Hart able to succeed.
3. He does whatever it takes, including faking it and making it up as he goes along.
4. Dream big.
5. If you are talented, some people will want to hurt you, but many more will want to help you.
6. You can never rest on your laurels.
7. Follow where your talent leads you.
8. When you’ve found your calling, you should enter a state of flow, rather than a state of struggle.
9. Without slack or quiet periods, there is no chance to catch one’s breath and allow sub- or semi-conscious to assimilate, incorporate, and regenerate.
10. unreasoning panic is to be expected if not welcomed, and that people who understand that this is the case will be able to recover more quickly.
11. Out of town try outs
12. increases the level of focus. Being in unfamiliar surroundings together stimulates bonding and energy. Second, it is beneficial to try out new ideas in a lower-risk environment.
13. Surrounding yourself with people with the right attitude is critical.
14. One of the strengths of Hart’s writing is his ability to humanize his characters with their characteristic quirks
15. Sometimes, senseless consumption is important.
16. Ultimately, the pleasure he takes from the pampering helps get him over the finish line. Sometimes, these fripperies are important.
17. Greatness is everywhere.
18. poverty and deprivation have been shown many times to be a spur to ambition and greatness.
19. a paucity of natural resources can be a goad to inventiveness

Inside out

uncomfortable feelings which we try to suppress are the raw material of creativity. Trust you have all of the experience and resources you need to create. The experience of not being unable to write is full of a collection of different emotions, memories and expectations. All the energy that prevents you is there because you haven’t looked closely. A block is a good sign, because it indicates you’re working with powerful emotions, and that’s great for your work. Examine boredom and impatience, and use attention rather than shame or guilt to get the juice out of them. "…gumption as the natural sustained effort that arises out of being absorbed in a task."

Inspiration isn’t as important as craft.  it’s easier to endure feelings of inferiority than to challenge yourself to grow.Love the day to day practice. Create, even if you’ll throw it away, because you may need to say that thing to get to the rest. In order to get out of your own way, you need to be with all of your feelings, and your feelings about your feelings, and write anyways.  Writing is groping towards the thing you suspect is there, an exploration.

• Procrastination: Write about what you’re doing to avoid writing. The product of inner conflicts about writing.
• Goofing off: time to let your thoughts percolate and regenerate.
• The external reward is random. Your real reward is your relationship with the work process and your talent.  Develop a committed relationship to your writing, like parenting or marriage. 
• Become your own authority about the time for the process, by imposing personal sub-deadlines, to remove the power from external deadlines. (Note: small steps are less frightening.)
• Perspective: The pattern doesn’t appear till it’s all done.
• Burnout: let yourself burn out, and take a break.

effectual over causal behavior

effectual process of entrepreneurship reasoning – with given set of means [tastes, expertise, network], allow goals to emerge overtime from varied imaginations of founders & thier interactions with others.

fire & steer – make many small affordable mistakes as early & cheaply as possible.
focus – on strategic partnership with early customers.
create value – by levaraging oppurtunities from contingencies as you map a new market.

Radical realism

I read the following from Robert Greene’s blog [author of 48 laws of power, 50th law] & thought it can be a follow up of my critical thinking process on i have to discard this evil budding in me and where is my attitude that was my high during childhood

My idea is that to the degree that you accept these realities in life, you are going to be successful and powerful. And to the degree that you deny them and you avoid them and you hate them and you are miserable about them and you try and run away, you are not going to have success in life.

…the moment I know what you are thinking or I can imagine what your intentions are, I can strategize. I can play all kinds of games. I can try to distract you, deceive you, etc.
…you can’t divorce the games that we have to play, what we have to learn is how to get along with other people, you can’t divorce that from our other forms of intelligence.
…Just be a master observer. In having this distance and looking at the world like this, suddenly I had power. I wasn’t emotionally involved. I had some distance, and I could deal with things. We are, in a way, defined by how we handle these environments, this reality.

I am proposing that you adopt-
accept that this is the human being as it has evolved over all of this time. There is nothing wrong with the fact that in this world people are playing political games. There is nothing wrong with the fact that there are seducers and con artists and it is going on all the time. It is just reality. It is just the world as it is. Stop fighting it. Just accept it. Within that accepting of it, it is not that you love it and want to go out in the world and play all of these nasty games. It is that you understand they exist. If, occasionally, you have to do them, fine. That’s okay within reason. You understand what people are up to, and they can’t necessarily hurt you. suddenly with that attitude, with that mentality, you have all kinds of power and freedom. studying this blind spot and opening your eyes to this reality, you are going to suddenly find yourself that there is a whole other realm of life that you are not observing, that you are not paying attention to. If you pay attention to it, suddenly the whole power game, the whole dynamic will alter in your favor.

Supremely realistic – refused to be dependent on other people. He refused to go for the usual traps in life, in this case, hustling on the streets or being a rapper with a good label. He saw through all the bullshit that the world put at you, and he saw this is where the power lies in life. his existential reality, that he was basically alone in the world and had to do things for himself and define who he wanted to be, that is actually the reality of each and every one of us. But we are not aware of it. And although you have these networks of support and they are real and you do have parents, on the other hand, it is really up to you to define who you are and what you want in life. bring more of your individuality into play, the more power you are going to have. you are truly born as an individual, but that you are spending your life running away from it. have to develop these self-reliant skills and we have to not be afraid of expressing our individuality : non-confirming, bucking the trend, novelty.

insights relating to the book i read long ago

what i learnt from ‘first things first by stephen r covey’:

Let go of populor,pleasing paradigms based on illusion (since we end up trying to control consequences & people)

Let go of things that aren’t first things.

Let go of rationaliesing. (simply respond to conscience & save time/energy justifying contrary action)

Let go of guilt that comes out of social mirror. (if it comes from conscience, face it, align our lives, do whatever is necessary to make restitution & move on)

the only real mistake in life is the mistake not learned from.

Let go of extrinsic sources of security.

As long as we get our sense of security from being incredibly busy, from our profession, from recognition, from relationships, or from anything other than our basic integrity to conscience & principle, we’ve fundamentally sold out.

nothing can bring you peacebut the triumph of principles

weekly worksheet :

1. Mission statement -
   1. self-awareness – current & my perspective of quality life
   2. conscience – mine & quality life principles
   3. independent will – my needs/capacities & my scripts
   4. creative imagination – how to create that quality life

   1. strengths – opinion of mine & that of others
   2. what i enjoy doing & what i admire in others
   3. most positive impact person & why
   4. happiest moments & why
   5. what will i do with unlimited time/resources & when i daydream
   6. 3 most imp things to me & most worthy doing to others, work life activities, personal life activities
   7. my unknown talents & undone things
   8. my physical/mental/social/spiritual needs/capacities & how satisfactory & what principles will create my desirable quality life results; where do i see all 4 overlapping
   9. imp roles & their goals
   10. what current results i like/don’t like & what perspectives are producing these
   11. what would i like to be & do; what imp principles are they based upon
   12. what contributions i like to make at 5/10yr increments

Mission to spend time & energy upon : [3 first things, goals, contributions, feelings, relations] triumph from practicability of principles, security from our integrity to conscience

Roles to allign with my mission : evolve conc to improve skill,energy,adaptability, medico, adult woman

Goals in each role : mental, spiritual, social, physical

evolve – eBlog[truth pursuit for harmony : implement GReader ideas, capture principles behind details, trace results to processes, wrestle contradictions from wisdom literature, envision possible functional interactions incorporating courage & consideration, tally listening discipline & response integrity -enthrall, delicacy, pressure, speed, sculpt meaning], rkm (self-control & abundance mentality), lokayukta & practical admin(dignified righteous relations), yoga-cycling-TT,
medico – HL REVISION, medical Emed clinical skills, animations, food tech research.
adult woman [AUTONOMY]- freework, shopping, telugu culture

Schedule Q2 [A123.., B123..] over Q1/3 + REMINDERS= Preparation time [to make up for competence, past deficiencies], Time zones & Renewal [short-term creativity & spontaneity to avoid manipulation/repurcussions/escapism], Synergy [to include will/conscience/imagination], Perhaps list

Exercise integrity in the moment with peace & confidence :

Evaluate for amennding next week’s schedule: what empowered/kept me from accomplishing these goals, did i incr/decr my PIA, did my goals blind me to unexpected better oppurtunities, what truth did i apply/fail to apply & what’s its effect, how much time was spent in Q1234.

For 4th gen time management ask for each to-do: underlying reasons, ultimate objectives, contributes to mission, best uses capacities

socializing criteria

logic alone can’t decide, emotional wisdom from past experiences is critical in decision-making. hence experience what you feel, deep immersion with serious reflection gives insights & actions that’ll change conditions.

short specific criteria for friendship:

who has individuality [decide based on ethical reason, not crowd mentality or insensibile idiocy] & healthy hobies [evolving concentration-skill, not by throwing money]

is considerate to my image [parents, school teachers, childhood friends, reading-thinking-writing-aesthetics] since i’m the epitome of my upbringing

shares my values on social dignity -
doesn’t lust-stalk-hype anyone,
doesn’t pilfirage others privacy, health, financial, family info and brokerize,
doesn’t dismantle righteous structures for their status quo

RELATE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE: [highar]

humility – evolve reasonable sense without trespassing or hypocricy or retaliating or accusing or brokerizing hype or tantalised solving
individuality – congruent / uphold truth / protect lawful structures to build competency
goal -  skill pursuit / legendary vision / empowering insights / actionable advice / functional communication
habits – reading / efficient habits / logical lifestyle / dignified in behavior & stoic on gormet, gossip, limerence, money
aesthetic – protect others self-esteem / patiently train incompetency / admire arts
recognize my real value – my bookmarks blogs etc, vivekananda’s concepts, atheism, DrShetty’s concept; can tether me away from emotionally charged raging bull, doomed & quitter.

study plan

derived from entrepreneurship book & scott’s HL :

study plan = working memory routine + compliant revision habit
working memory	ripe zen topic 70% time compartment [desk-text-papers-pens/online bookmarking, 10hrs-4days-3wks] speed read & write compact notes – clarity & context models, associations [depth,lateral, alien analogues] contrast – HL link/peg/doodle strengthen weak weblinks with new techniques
compliant revision	rhetoric oration time slot after reviewing where you waste time – every 4days & 3wks new motivations to engage psych – case studies, mcqs give it a practical value in daily life – practise in reality for subconscious incorporation

blogging stress

i want to club my 2 blogs [truth pursuit & my journal] since i no longer feel the previous need for discreteness in internal & external matters since self-control & practicle ideas are requisites for both worlds if i have to hang on to the motto of valuing the potential goodness in all.
i have been using my truth pursuit blog to collect facts about critical issues & huiristics to improve productivity; and my journal for improving self-awareness for making better choices & storing positive attitude for forbereance in personal matters. i’l keep private some of my personal life posts esp the ones catharasising on uncontrollable emotions. my another blog has my compact academic notes, instead i want to shift to youtube for i’m thirsty for making vepods based on scott’s holistic reading book to boost my revision.

i'm a type A personality

the problem is i condemn my parents too often & they just justify / resent / resign. i probably do to relieve my uncontrollable feeling.
solutions to get rid of this deficient self-control:

sin & misery are a result of weaknesses so do not weaken anyone more by condemning. instead teach rhetorically or help to improve the worst situation

remind myself the price i pay by worrying in terms of concentration on studies

the problem is i’m feeling indignified & developing contempt & fear for boys who are looking at my private parts or pose of in front of me for my attention or other people who are cynical & insensible towrds me or are taking revenge against me for things i’m not responsible. i have to see if i can get rid of this behavior by these solutions:

block your eyes & ears, bow down with respect to escape from their snares or references.

think “if they know it is a weakness to lead such a life, they will get over it some day”.

And again it is hipocrisy on my part to believe in oneness of good nature in all of us but still get carried away by my likes & dislikes of physical appearance/behaviour. so i’ll look upon all people as the rising sun without expecting any attention nor expressing any contempt. that also means its better to stay bad out of necessity & feel safe than to bore good & experience indignity.

where is my attitude that was my high during childhood

i used to as a class leader in my middle school serve teachers unselfishly -minding the class, carrying and distributing books, drawing charts, voluntaring in sports and cultural activities. later on in my high school because of my increasing turbulences in my mind, decreasing competency, restrictions from my dearest friend on labouring ignorantly who himself was the boy’s leader, my father’s reluctancy to buy charts and colors …..created doubts about what is right to do. during my 10th standard, i brought a book ‘the secret of right activity’ from ramakrishna math. i did not develop distinct insights then, but now in this situation of engulfing narrow-mindedness, its revision has given me this : [that concept of oneness of spirit does resemble the knowledge that human mind universally has specific common prejudices & thinks in a certain pattern when in certain situations like a depressed person perceives age of a person differently or judges a half-filled glass as half-empty & that hallucinogens alter our form color perception]

If you unschemingly work with fortitude for unfolding the Atman, you evolve a concentration for right action :

• skill
• adapt quickly
• expending least energy

if our present impressions have proved hostile to our progress, create a totally new set of impressions by going to work. hold ourselves as the witness, watch all impressions pass without being disturbed by them. we do this & no more. we do not strike back. withdraw ourselves from whatever retards our unfoldment. put on an armour of fortitude & calmness. as we wisely meet our present obligations, our nature will become so expanded that every task will seem to us a privilege not a compulsion & we accomplish it spontaneously just for the joy we find in doing it. that silent enduring service will evolve a powerful concentration which improves our skill, makes us adjust ourselves quickly & we perform with least expenditure of energy which are all secrets of right activity. follow the path of action as long as we have to struggle to subdue ourselves; when everything within has become tranquil, then we can meditate – seeing clearly before putting into practise.

sudden uprooting suffers the mind; first acquire a correct knowledge of the relative value of things, then the mind itself will let go without any pang. cultivating a strong new spiritual impression by turning our thoughts within which in time will become so dominant a habit that it’ll efface the old ones.

renunciation means giving up limitation, merely living, acting & giving in a greater circle. conquering lower self gives self-control & serenity, we do not play the losing game of dualities anymore -selfishly expecting gain/loss & suffering the painful reactions of anger/hatred/attachment. judging evrything through the light of higher nature [oneness of divine spirit], we cannot do anything wrong, we do not labor for what is false & unreal. we work like a master. all the unrest of heart ceases & no room is left for trivial concerns. think the lofty ideal again & again until finally we begin to feel its reality & move without calculating because our individual will works in harmony with universal will; we won’t be distracted by the voices of the world anymore; pettiness, ignorance, self-seeking will vanish; we shall feel ourselves great only in the spirit; when in need of help, it’ll feel our groping mind with the light of understanding & strenght; we can attain truth & our growth becomes far reaching.